Women – Page 2 – Just a Dash

I have two trips coming up and I started looking for outfit ideas on Pinterest to help me with my packing- simple ideas and also for pieces that I can reuse and how to reuse them.

I’m 5’1″ and roughly 120lbs (muscle I wish) and definitely not skinny. I’m not that curvy either but I have a few curves and I’m waiting on my personal earthquake to make some of these fault lines shift. Compared to last year and 2010, I’m definitely more comfortable with my body and learning to accept and embrace it – simply because I know what I can achieve if I make the effort and what I have to live with if I don’t. I would never aspire to be stick thin, personally it’s not sexy. I will have a little pouch for a tummy and I love my thick thighs that my chicken legs seem to have the strength to hold up. I’ll never have a 6pack (not sexy either) preferably, it would be flat but for now this little pouch isn’t making me feel too bad ~~and I don’t believe in spanx~~.

All of this is to say, we see outfits put together, we see people in outfits we’d like to try but our body type doesn’t necessarily say it’s for us. Note I said above I was looking for ideas I don’t own half of the outfits I see online that I would love to wear but what do I have that is similar and flattering for me to wear? That’s the question I ask before I repin, like or even save to my computer. We’re blasted with sooo many images of women who have stomachs you can cut vegetables on, with the perfect proportions, make-up, shoes everything – everything that we, the common woman, don’t have.

It’s amazing what causes us to see ourselves as we do. We have the influence of our parents with our upbringing, school, friends, society, yet deep down we hardly know what to think of our own bodies. Certain things I learned to embrace from early because of the positive feedback I got. The negative stuff… obviously I’m still working on it! We may have partners who love us for us, don’t want us to change a thing but sometimes, it’s not enough. It’s not enough because that hasn’t been seen as acceptable to society. The one person (you) who really makes the difference for a change to occur doesn’t believe it and so it takes forever and maybe a special outsider to make you slowly embrace your “faults” and work with them.

I don’t have the biggest chest, I’m an A cup (I even wrote a poem about them :)) and I was teased about them for a rather long time but since they seem to not be one of my “best” assets, I worked on showing another – my legs. Before I started working out, I was often told I have very firm legs, so why not show them? My hair is very thick, and after I started putting chemicals in it, people often thought it was a weave. As a result, I’ve worn braids ONCE in my life and I refuse to do it again even as I’m growing out my hair. The positive feedback on it has made me proud to show it and not be ashamed. Hey, if you wish you could have my hair and think it’s fake then why should I cover it up? I’d rather spend money making my natural hair look good than a lot of money buying something fake to make it look good. The same effort goes into it anyway…

We need to be more uplifting as women. Wear what shows our best assets, not hide behind clothes, compliment each other, and offer suggestions in a loving manner not make others feel bad and also be open to that criticism – sometimes we do not see what others see when we look at ourselves in the mirror.

Just for a little laugh here is the poem. It was written in dialect but hopefully you get the idea if you aren’t from the Caribbean. It was a response to a poem someone else did.

‘A’ Cup Titties

You’d love to see the brazier terrorist…

But I know you can’t come better than this.

You want to see the double D’s and E’s hang free

More than seeing the A’s sit up nice and perky?

I’d love to see your face that day

When their nipples point down south and have more sway.

My breasts do not define me,

The same way it shouldn’t for you if you have man boobs and a big belly

Because we have other assets and qualities

That could turn your world upside down you see

They may not have extended past certain boundaries

But who knows what’s possible after a few picknies (children)

I won’t get upset and miserable,

‘Cus I remember hearing guys say they only need a mouthful.

Ain’t nothing gonna come between me and my small tits

‘Cus I love these lil chicas to bits

They don’t have to be exposed

They don’t need to be resting under my nose

All I need for you to know is I’m a girl

Even with my little pearls

Now I ain dissing my girls with the big bubbies

But I had to come tonight and drop de nitty gritty

‘Cus people need to appreciate and not underestimate de A cup titties.

“Everybody is unique. Compare not yourself with anybody else lest you spoil God’s curriculum.” — Baal Shem Tov

Within the last few years, friendship is something that, I’m learning more and more, is about quality more than quantity. One of my bestest (yes I used that grammatically incorrect word for emphasis) friends lives across the pond and even though we don’t hear each other every day, we know we’re in each hearts and every conversation just picks up from the last. My other friend just completed about 6/7 months of school. Just before she started, we were having lunch dates and I really missed that little female time. Today we had lunch and spent the afternoon hanging out doing errands, shopping and relaxing. This doesn’t happen weekly so it was really nice to have that female bonding time. I don’t need a million friends to be hanging out with, partying, or out every weekend or feel like I’m a part of some clique. I just need to now I have a girlfriend or two there for me just like I’m always there for them.

“Silences make the real conversations between friends. Not the saying but the never needing to say is what counts.” ― Margaret Lee Runbeck

When I got this quote this morning in my email, I just felt… something. It means that your friendships are solidified by those silent moments – whether or not you’ve known that person all of your life. Sometimes you hear certain sayings and you feel good like it’s speaking to you or you know it’s expressing your character. I feel good to know that I’ve had friendships like what is described in this quote. Friends don’t always last. Friendships aren’t always peachy. After all, if you don’t have a friend who gives it to you straight and lets you know when you’re doing wrong maybe you should question what kind of friend you have. To people who know me, I always give it to you straight. I have your back and I hope you have mine.

On a lighter note, you know you have a good friend when they acknowledge your sense of style and you theirs. Having a friend who looks at you with the “wtf are you wearing?!” face (out of jealousy and not that you look good but it’s just not their style) is what I call a ‘no bueno’ situation. You want people to boost your spirit for being the individual you are. You don’t need a twin or sidekick stalking your fashion sense. Nuh-uh! A true girlfriend says “hell no!” with her face when you put on something that does nothing for you and you quickly turn around and change or suggest/beg her to pick something for you. Silence is golden – avoid unnecessary confrontation.

We all need the support of someone (of the same sex) ~~to know we’re not the only crazy people on this planet~~. We just need to take stock of who that is for us. Don’t take advantage of those who are there for you and let them know that you appreciate it. The same way we have reassurance in our relationships with our partners, it goes a long way with our female/male friends. Yes sometimes it’s shown in the things we do but it doesn’t hurt to say it at least once or twice a year.

Communication goes a long way – spoken and unspoken.

Category: Women

I’m Sexy and I Know It

Silences