I’m Sexy and I Know It

I have two trips coming up and I started looking for outfit ideas on Pinterest to help me with my packing- simple ideas and also for pieces that I can reuse and how to reuse them.

I’m 5’1″ and roughly 120lbs (muscle I wish) and definitely not skinny. I’m not that curvy either but I have a few curves and I’m waiting on my personal earthquake to make some of these fault lines shift. Compared to last year and 2010, I’m definitely more comfortable with my body and learning to accept and embrace it – simply because I know what I can achieve if I make the effort and what I have to live with if I don’t. I would never aspire to be stick thin, personally it’s not sexy. I will have a little pouch for a tummy and I love my thick thighs that my chicken legs seem to have the strength to hold up. I’ll never have a 6pack (not sexy either) preferably, it would be flat but for now this little pouch isn’t making me feel too bad and I don’t believe in spanx.

All of this is to say, we see outfits put together, we see people in outfits we’d like to try but our body type doesn’t necessarily say it’s for us. Note I said above I was looking for ideas I don’t own half of the outfits I see online that I would love to wear but what do I have that is similar and flattering for me to wear? That’s the question I ask before I repin, like or even save to my computer. We’re blasted with sooo many images of women who have stomachs you can cut vegetables on, with the perfect proportions, make-up, shoes everything – everything that we, the common woman, don’t have.

It’s amazing what causes us to see ourselves as we do. We have the influence of our parents with our upbringing, school, friends, society, yet deep down we hardly know what to think of our own bodies. Certain things I learned to embrace from early because of the positive feedback I got. The negative stuff… obviously I’m still working on it! We may have partners who love us for us, don’t want us to change a thing but sometimes, it’s not enough. It’s not enough because that hasn’t been seen as acceptable to society. The one person (you) who really makes the difference for a change to occur doesn’t believe it and so it takes forever and maybe a special outsider to make you slowly embrace your “faults” and work with them.

I don’t have the biggest chest, I’m an A cup (I even wrote a poem about them :)) and I was teased about them for a rather long time but since they seem to not be one of my “best” assets, I worked on showing another – my legs. Before I started working out, I was often told I have very firm legs, so why not show them? My hair is very thick, and after I started putting chemicals in it, people often thought it was a weave. As a result, I’ve worn braids ONCE in my life and I refuse to do it again even as I’m growing out my hair. The positive feedback on it has made me proud to show it and not be ashamed. Hey, if you wish you could have my hair and think it’s fake then why should I cover it up? I’d rather spend money making my natural hair look good than a lot of money buying something fake to make it look good. The same effort goes into it anyway…

We need to be more uplifting as women. Wear what shows our best assets, not hide behind clothes, compliment each other, and offer suggestions in a loving manner not make others feel bad and also be open to that criticism – sometimes we do not see what others see when we look at ourselves in the mirror.

Just for a little laugh here is the poem. It was written in dialect but hopefully you get the idea if you aren’t from the Caribbean. It was a response to a poem someone else did.

‘A’ Cup Titties

You’d love to see the brazier terrorist…

But I know you can’t come better than this.

You want to see the double D’s and E’s hang free

More than seeing the A’s sit up nice and perky?

I’d love to see your face that day

When their nipples point down south and have more sway.

My breasts do not define me,

The same way it shouldn’t for you if you have man boobs and a big belly

Because we have other assets and qualities

That could turn your world upside down you see

They may not have extended past certain boundaries

But who knows what’s possible after a few picknies (children)

I won’t get upset and miserable,

‘Cus I remember hearing guys say they only need a mouthful.

Ain’t nothing gonna come between me and my small tits

‘Cus I love these lil chicas to bits

They don’t have to be exposed

They don’t need to be resting under my nose

All I need for you to know is I’m a girl

Even with my little pearls

Now I ain dissing my girls with the big bubbies

But I had to come tonight and drop de nitty gritty

‘Cus people need to appreciate and not underestimate de A cup titties.

Everybody is unique. Compare not yourself with anybody else lest you spoil God’s curriculum.” — Baal Shem Tov