Girlfriends – Just a Dash

I just want to say thank you for following/reading my blog. This will be a long post so get comfortable!

I was on a blogging roll… Then I got sick! I was trying to push a post every other day or at least twice a week but my husband was sick and then it seems I got a sinus infection. It was awful but Allegra D has been my friend. I still sound very congested but I’m not sneezing or coughing so as far as I know, all is well (for now).

I really started to feel it coming on Friday. I woke up and I was determined to get laundry done, clean the kitchen and do a few other things as I was to meet a friend for yogurt. While she insisted I stay home and rest, I insisted that she meet me as I needed to get out of the house even if for a little bit. I was to pass by the mall and get something for myself and her and then meet her, by the time we met we had about 10-15mins to get our yogurt but they were more than enough. First off, I felt like a pig in shit that she was still happy to see me and even more that she didn’t care if I was sick (not knowing if it was contagious or not at that point and she was travelling in a few days).

I think I can safely say that when someone doesn’t scorn you or make you feel like a leper when you could really do with a “pick-me-upper”, it makes you see that person in a different light. I mean, she is one of two females (not related) I have in my life that I can truly say are my main girls who don’t hide their feelings from me. Isn’t that what we really need? A friend who isn’t afraid to ask questions most would shy away from. A friend who wants to talk to you about issues instead of festering them until they reach a boiling point. A friend who tells you as it is even if it’s not what you want to hear. This is a real friend and that is what she does.

To those who know me well and for those whom I’ve met recently and I know can take what I give, I try my best to be honest. I say try my best because not everyone can take the truth and I don’t always have the best delivery, especially if it’s a heated issue. I’ve been learning over the years how to censor what I want to say and blogging has definitely helped with it. I was once said to be very frank and not everyone can take/accept the truth or my opinion in that fashion. Either way it is important to have someone around us who helps us to see the good and the bad from a different perspective. More important is that (and I think I’ve mentioned this before) we need to let our family and friends know how much they mean to us. When they say something to us that we may not have expected but appreciated, let them know.

“Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.” ―Mother Teresa

Simple, kind acts go a long way.

Today is Ash Wednesday and I went to mass at noon. I walk around for the whole day with ashes on my forehead because I am not ashamed and I quite enjoy the puzzled looks people give me as I’ve forgotten it’s there. I went to FedEx after mass and the clerk kept looking up at me with a puzzled look. I thought, today I’ll wait for people to ask, I won’t offer information. She didn’t ask but I still thought it was quite entertaining. After I left there I went to a Starbucks drive-thru and when I got to the window, the cashier told me the lady in the car in front paid for my drink. I was in shock. I was actually twitching and stuttering as my hand was lost with what to do with my card and I didn’t know what to say to him. As I drove off, still in shock, I said to myself I only have one choice, to pay it forward. I intend to do just that the next time I go there.

Up to last night I couldn’t decide what my sacrifice would be for Lent. We’re often told we have to give up something for Lent, but we should really be concentrating on trying to get closer to God: helping others who are less fortunate than ourselves, praying during the week if we find ourselves only doing it when we want something or on Sundays only, giving up gluttony. I won’t say what I intend to do, but that lady who paid for my drink really touched me today. That simple act of kindness.

I’ve been told that if I have clothes I don’t wear I should take them to Goodwill and I can claim it on my taxes, or sell them. My taxes weren’t a concern when I bought them so I don’t see why I should try to claim something. I just want to know that someone who is less fortunate than myself has something to wear and feels warm and clothed. I’d donate any day before I sell to gain something. We need to look within ourselves when we do things – give more selflessly and less selfishly. My prayer is that this Lenten season (whether or not you are religious) everyone will gain something from a little introspection.

Within the last few years, friendship is something that, I’m learning more and more, is about quality more than quantity. One of my bestest (yes I used that grammatically incorrect word for emphasis) friends lives across the pond and even though we don’t hear each other every day, we know we’re in each hearts and every conversation just picks up from the last. My other friend just completed about 6/7 months of school. Just before she started, we were having lunch dates and I really missed that little female time. Today we had lunch and spent the afternoon hanging out doing errands, shopping and relaxing. This doesn’t happen weekly so it was really nice to have that female bonding time. I don’t need a million friends to be hanging out with, partying, or out every weekend or feel like I’m a part of some clique. I just need to now I have a girlfriend or two there for me just like I’m always there for them.

“Silences make the real conversations between friends. Not the saying but the never needing to say is what counts.” ― Margaret Lee Runbeck

When I got this quote this morning in my email, I just felt… something. It means that your friendships are solidified by those silent moments – whether or not you’ve known that person all of your life. Sometimes you hear certain sayings and you feel good like it’s speaking to you or you know it’s expressing your character. I feel good to know that I’ve had friendships like what is described in this quote. Friends don’t always last. Friendships aren’t always peachy. After all, if you don’t have a friend who gives it to you straight and lets you know when you’re doing wrong maybe you should question what kind of friend you have. To people who know me, I always give it to you straight. I have your back and I hope you have mine.

On a lighter note, you know you have a good friend when they acknowledge your sense of style and you theirs. Having a friend who looks at you with the “wtf are you wearing?!” face (out of jealousy and not that you look good but it’s just not their style) is what I call a ‘no bueno’ situation. You want people to boost your spirit for being the individual you are. You don’t need a twin or sidekick stalking your fashion sense. Nuh-uh! A true girlfriend says “hell no!” with her face when you put on something that does nothing for you and you quickly turn around and change or suggest/beg her to pick something for you. Silence is golden – avoid unnecessary confrontation.

We all need the support of someone (of the same sex) ~~to know we’re not the only crazy people on this planet~~. We just need to take stock of who that is for us. Don’t take advantage of those who are there for you and let them know that you appreciate it. The same way we have reassurance in our relationships with our partners, it goes a long way with our female/male friends. Yes sometimes it’s shown in the things we do but it doesn’t hurt to say it at least once or twice a year.

Communication goes a long way – spoken and unspoken.

Tag: Girlfriends

Friendship and Lent

Silences