kids – Just a Dash

ALWAYS ASK!!

It’s something we struggle with as women because we’re supposed to be real life superheroes when juggling everything life throws at us. I struggled with it and recently a friend asked another mom and myself how we get everything done because she just feels like there isn’t enough time to get it all done. The consensus – we asked our husbands for help. We’re not asking them to take over everything but just to help with one thing that would ease us. For me, I told my husband cooking dinner and feeding Kai and getting him ready for bed in the evening was just too much, and he took over bath time.

We CANNOT do it alone.

Something is heavily sacrificed when we do. Even if it is just for a short time until our babies become more independent and self sufficient, we sacrifice something to make sure that they are cared for. Even for some who have to do it alone, they find a balance, but there is also some kind of sacrifice being made. There’s only one way to see it – if we are stretched thin, we can’t care for those who are extremely dependent on us.

I’ve been giving my all caring for those in my home that I was slowly losing my sense of self. The girl who would do masks at night, and paint her nails every now and then is just too tired and exhausted that she can’t even do those small bits of pampering, and is dying to post to her blog but just can’t manage to finish everything in time that she could write a quick blog post is gone… and she’s too tired.

I’m slowly getting back on my feet. I have a new home to organize and decorate and that will take time but I’m also trying to enjoy the little blessing I have as he’s just growing too quickly.

That’s the other thing… if we’re doing to much, we forget to enjoy and embrace the simple things and life just passes by and before we know it, we missed out on a lot that we were there for but not present mentally. So…

ASK.

Some people watch reality t.v. to only dream of living those lifestyles (I won’t lie, to some extent I do as well) but I get drawn because I honestly don’t believe half the shit I’m seeing. I’m talking about the Housewives (Atlanta, OC, Beverly Hills -the only ones I watch) Basketball Wives, and a few others. There is so much talk of bullying and mean girls and sometimes I see it and other times I don’t. Then there is the stupidity.

“Costa Rica is in Mexico.” DA FUQ!?

“It could end badly or it could end really goodly.” I could see why you’re on 16 and Pregnant..

Sigh. What is really prompting this post is Alexis on the Orange County Housewives. First of all, I understand you felt you were being ganged up on, but when people are trying to talk (they’re not shouting at you or arguing) to you about a perception people have of you:

1. be thankful they just want you to be aware of how people see you.

2. you have ‘friends’ who care enough to let you know and talk to you.

My two cents, grow up. Some people would love to be at a dinner with friends. Some people would love someone to call them out on their shit. Some people would love to have someone who cared enough to let them know these things especially if it came to a head. Unfortunately, they told you about it when all of you were together (and some aren’t even your friends) but at least it didn’t start out as some verbal attack. As a woman, hold your head high, say “thank you for sharing your thoughts even though I do not agree with what you are saying” and eat your meal. People need to stand up for themselves more. This is coming from a person who never used to but now does, and I mean in like the last 5 years or so, and I’m 25… The more you allow people to think that they can talk down to you, attack you verbally or even attempt to make you feel like nothing, shut it down. Be the bigger person. Make them look like the idiot they are being.

I’ve been told I don’t hide my thoughts, I’ve been told it’s appreciated. It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it. Wise words spoken to me by my mother that I like to live by. Communication is key, in every relationship – even getting into a taxi. But I feel like it’s really sad when there are so many people out there who do not have friends that tell them the truth. What are they there for? To feed you compliments and look pretty with you or make you feel good about yourself? Seriously… it’s a lot of crap. Surround yourself with people who uplift you, are honest with you, correct you when you are wrong. If they don’t do any of these things, you need to check and see who your friends really are.

I grew up being teased, not bullied. And when I look back and compare to what I see bullying is here in the US, I am grateful that I went through it. It made me know my faults and deal with them, even if it took a few years. I own those faults and you do not know them better than I do. There is a lot of talk about bullying and stopping it, it’s natural for kids to tease and be mean to each other, but is anyone really pushing for self-confidence? I know it’s a hard job with the size 0 models and perfect looks that are pushed in kids faces of how they should look. It’s actually very ridiculous, but it all begins in the home. If at home kids don’t feel it or see it, then they’re forced to be influenced by outsiders and therein lies the problem.

I could go on for days on this topic but I need to be up early and I didn’t realise it was so late. “Rants” always catch me off guard :). I’d love to hear your thoughts on this post, so please feel free to comment and offer your insight.

Tag: kids

Ask

Is it really what it is?