I think by now you’ve realized that this is more a mom blog than lifestyle blog. It’s just that parenting has become my lifestyle and is something I’m all about sharing. I don’t think I ever shared my birth story but I had a natural birth and if you want to hear about it and me playing the Lion King song… let me know below.

Recently, my friend wrote about her C-section experience for her friend and shared it with me. Naturally, I asked if I could share it here, and she said yes!! I’ve edited it to take out a few personal bits and generalized it since I don’t know what anyone is having. And if you’re having a boy, seeing “she/her” all the time would be annoying lol. I don’t think I could’ve had a better person write and share their experience because she has definitely lightened the mood if you were having one and are worried.

Enough small talk. Enjoy…

C-Sections – as told by Sabrina 🙂

There are so many things that I wish I had known going in, so I’d love to pass this stuff on. Especially, because it isn’t going to be written on the interwebs.

Prep for you

* If it’s something that you care about; clean the house now because you literally can’t for 6 weeks. 

* Get large pads! You’ll still bleed even though it wasn’t a vaginal birth.

* Buy the biggest underwear you can get!! I ended up cutting the (fuck I don’t know what the word is…) strap thingy on top that holds them up. It would constrain my innards and mess with my incision. 

* Put on bed sheets that you don’t care about, just in case. 

C-Section

Are you going to go into labor first, or will they induce on a specific day? I can explain the process if it’s labor, but if you’re just going in then here’s what will happen.

* You’ll get an epidural. You’ll bend forward and usually be facing your husband who WILL HOLD YOUR HAND! They numb you first. That needle is surprising and isn’t pleasant. Then they stick the tube in that delivers medicine. The tube will stay in you until after the surgery. I actually You-tubed the procedure to know what to expect.

* Your husband will put on scrubs, you’ll get a hat, and have to take a shot of gross orange stuff. They’ll also shave your bikini line. The incision is much lower than you’d expect! 

– At this point, I was shaking uncontrollably. I’m sure it was the adrenaline. Just the thought of actually having a baby was really hitting me and I was super excited and scared. My teeth kept chattering. I bit my tongue so much to try and stop it. Know that this can happen. 

* Nurses will lift you onto a gurney and roll you into the OR. It’s bright, white, cold and full of people staring at you naked. You won’t care.

* They’ll set you up on the table and start prepping the room. They’ll give your husband a seat by your head. Your arms will be spread out like Jesus. The anesthesiologist will be right there, pumping you up with drugs. Keep telling them to do more if you even feel the slightest bit of them pinching! 

* When you confirm that you can’t feel anything, they will start. It takes a little bit, because there are a lot more layers on your innards than you’d expect. 

Eventually, they’ll reach in and pull out baby! You can breathe again – holy shit!! You don’t get to see them yet though. They will take the baby to check vitals and get cleaned up. Your husband will be called to meet the baby, cut the cord, take pictures, etc. Then they’ll bring them back for you to meet. It’s the most surreal thing you can imagine. 

Overall, the surgery takes about 30-45 minutes. When you’re done you go back into the recovery room for about an hour and a half, after which they transfer you to a much smaller room.

Hospital Stay for you

* They’ll keep telling you that it’s important to sleep. But there will be someone in the room with you once every hour. Whether it’s for testing you or your child. That first night, you won’t sleep at all. And you’ll want to murder everyone. Not much you can do about it.

* Unfortunately, one of the tests for you is to press on your belly (a few times a day) to make sure you’re healing up correctly. It sucks balls. But the pain goes away quickly and you can keep pressing your awesome pain meds button to up the dose. 

* Nurses will make you stand up quicker than you’d want to and believe you’re capable of. But you have to do it! If anything, you have to try. 

* I was so drugged that I’m not sure when I was able to get the catheter and IV out. All I remember is that I had a goal of getting to the bathroom and peeing 3 times in order for me to get one of them out. For the catheter removal, take a deep breath and exhale. It’s just heeby jeebies, not pain. And I didn’t know that the IV isn’t a needle but a little tube; just like the epidural. So it’s not painful if you bend your hand.

* The hospital gave me a spray bottle to fill with warm water and aim at my nethers in order to pee and not be in pain. Luckily, it’s not as bad as it could have been with a vaginal delivery. Pooping, will take a while, even for those of us with IBS. The drugs they give you stop you up. Don’t push it though. Literally. Don’t strain.

* Before you go, they’ll take out the staples in your incision. I was terrified. It isn’t that bad. Just have a normal chat with your husband as a distraction.

Hospital Stay for baby

* Baby will get a bath, and you’ll be taught how to do this.

* Nurses will also show you how to swaddle and change a diaper.

* There will be a hearing test that usually takes 5 minutes, but the baby must be awake for it.

* They do heel pokes to draw blood. The blood spots will go onto pieces of paper to conduct tests. They’ll need several of these. They will cry and your heart will break. 

* If you want me to tell you about jaundice procedures, let me know. Logan had it.

Checking out of the hospital

* Ask the nurses for things before you go. More pads (they’re like diapers) and the mesh undies. I can’t stress enough, how much I loved the undies!!

* I’m not sure how your hospital does it, but if it’s anything like my experience, you’ll need to complete a checklist. This will include seeing you and testing you on your car seat. So figure that shit out before you go in. You’ll need to pack baby in super tight! 

Recovery

It is very important to heed the doctor’s advice – DON’T DO ANYTHING!! You can take care of and hold your child, but that’s it. No cleaning, laundry, dishes, vacuuming, bending over unless absolutely necessary, etc. Walk slowly and only in your house. Don’t leave your house. Don’t use stairs unless you have to (I have 16 to get up to my place. I didn’t leave for 2 weeks).

You will be so fucking frustrated that you can’t do anything because some days you feel like you can. But you will pay for that dearly! So don’t even be tempted! 

They probably won’t prescribe you enough pain pills. So make sure you set up a follow up appointment before they go away. You’ll have to go back in, but they will give you more. 

Speaking of pills, you’ll have lots to take. Make a chart so you don’t forget any. You need to take all of them to heal. I had to set my alarm for some in the middle of the night – not like you’ll really be sleeping at first anyways. 

There’s a 6 week checkup and they’ll give you the go ahead to have sex and resume activities. LOLOLOL!! You’ll still need time. I say 8 weeks before you can actually walk at a normal pace. And have lube for sex. Even with a C-section, your junk is messed up and dry. 

I think I felt worlds better by 10 weeks. That’s sleeping on my stomach, ability to jog, carry groceries, Rufio (dog), bend over, do laundry – everything. 

The only lasting effects I have are some tenderness on my underbelly (you’ll have a deflated basketball belly after the baby comes out) and numbness on my scar (apparently that’s normal and will last forever).

I know it’s a lot to take in (that’s what she said) but you’ll have your baby with you the whole time and they’ll be a great distraction!