Ask


ALWAYS ASK!!

It’s something we struggle with as women because we’re supposed to be real life superheroes when juggling everything life throws at us. I struggled with it and recently a friend asked another mom and myself how we get everything done because she just feels like there isn’t enough time to get it all done. The consensus – we asked our husbands for help. We’re not asking them to take over everything but just to help with one thing that would ease us. For me, I told my husband cooking dinner and feeding Kai and getting him ready for bed in the evening was just too much, and he took over bath time.

We CANNOT do it alone.

Something is heavily sacrificed when we do. Even if it is just for a short time until our babies become more independent and self sufficient, we sacrifice something to make sure that they are cared for. Even for some who have to do it alone, they find a balance, but there is also some kind of sacrifice being made. There’s only one way to see it – if we are stretched thin, we can’t care for those who are extremely dependent on us.

I’ve been giving my all caring for those in my home that I was slowly losing my sense of self. The girl who would do masks at night, and paint her nails every now and then is just too tired and exhausted that she can’t even do those small bits of pampering, and is dying to post to her blog but just can’t manage to finish everything in time that she could write a quick blog post is gone… and she’s too tired.

I’m slowly getting back on my feet. I have a new home to organize and decorate and that will take time but I’m also trying to enjoy the little blessing I have as he’s just growing too quickly.

That’s the other thing… if we’re doing to much, we forget to enjoy and embrace the simple things and life just passes by and before we know it, we missed out on a lot that we were there for but not present mentally. So…

ASK.

 

To Celebrate Or Not To…


Like many other moms/parents, I had a debate over what to do for baby’s first birthday. One comment I heard often was “they’re not going to remember it anyway!”. At first I agreed, and thought there shouldn’t be much fuss to it.

After we got back from our travels in January, Kai returned to his usual Gymboree class and he’d advanced to Level 3. My big boy! He was SO HAPPY at class that I decided to inquire about availability for his birthday. Someone had already booked March 26th so I took April 2nd.

I had two reasons for booking this. 1) Gymboree was clearly his happy place that you really saw his true personality and happiness come out. 2) We were in the process of purchasing our home and I didn’t know how things would be and all I had to do was provide food – less stress for me.

Now, I also did this because, regardless of whether or not he’ll remember it (he’ll get to see pics too!!), we’ve had our little one for a year. A year that flew by so quickly that made us grow as parents, showed us that there is a whole other level of love and, seeing our little one in his element just brings so much joy to us that we want to share it with others.

NOTHING prepares you for parenthood. Not being a nanny, not being a babysitter, not being an aunt… NOTHING. I’m an aunt and I helped my sister a lot. I also babysat a bit before moving to America. Nothing prepared me for having my own child.

Now I’m not telling you that you must have a birthday party for your little one, but consider how much has changed and happened in that      one year and see it as a cause for celebration, in any form or fashion. Celebrate it. We see everyday how short life can be. We see how quickly our lives change once we’ve had a baby and how quickly that baby grows to be a toddler.

I love to celebrate birthdays. I love the opportunity to celebrate reaching another year with my loved ones. I’m not able to celebrate it with all of my family and friends now that I live so far away from them so I will do the most with whoever is near and dear to me.

Just a little food for thought 🙂 .

:: One of my favorites from a mini shoot we did at home with our friends for his 1st birthday. ::

Maternal Instinct


If there’s one thing I’m learning more and more being a mom, is that my gut is right more than it is ever wrong. The only thing worse than this is trying to fix whatever is wrong and having someone be dismissive and shut you down when you know you’re right.

My son has eczema. Normally after two days of treatment and moisturizing his skin one extra time during the day, his eczema would clear up. Recently, he’s had these little patches that he’s been scratching, and nothing was working on these patches. None of his prescription eczema creams or using extra lotion on his skin. Also, he only scratched when he was very sleepy, but now he was scratching throughout the day and also trying to pull off shirts, so I tried to keep him in onesies more. So I made an appointment and took him to the dermatologist.

It took me saying more than 3 times that his spots weren’t responding to the eczema treatments I’d normally do. After the doctor decided to take a closer look, she said it may be something viral but she needs to confirm because she’s only seen it on adults but not on babies, and she’s heard of teenagers having it as well. She got her pediatric journal and sure enough, it’s been recorded on babies as young as 3 months.

I’m not going to be one of those mothers posting my experience and making you run to webMD to see if your child has the same thing (I HATE those posts), I’m posting this because I want to emphasize that you trust your gut and don’t back down. Doctors don’t live with our families, as parents, we’re there everyday and more observant. So if I take time and come to you because I know that something isn’t right, I want you to hear me out and not rush me out of your office. You got the wrong mom if you think that’s going to happen.

My son will be a year next month. A whole year he’s been in my life and I wouldn’t have it any other way with his cheeky little self. But I’ll be damned if you don’t take me seriously when I bring him to you with a concern. Call it maternal instinct… but from very early, my husband told me always go with that gut feeling when I’ve acted on it with regards to our son. I may second-guess it sometimes with other things, but never when it comes to him. He’s my life now and I don’t know what I’d do without him. And I don’t think you’ll ever see me again if you try to make me think that my concern isn’t valid. My dermatologist got a second chance because she realized and peered deeper. Otherwise, our doctor-patient relationship was over if she said it just looked like eczema again.