Besides the cold and gloomy weather in Seattle, one of the hardest things I’ve had to deal with is being so far away from my family. I am very close to my family. After I left, everyone had a blackberry so that we can keep in touch. We Skype at least 2 or 3 times a week but still talk everyday via Whatsapp now since I no longer have a Blackberry. I’m missing my niece and nephew grow into characters but I truly cherish the time I spend with them whenever I go home. I envy my sister and the help she has with them because it’s something I won’t have.
One positive thing about this is that my husband and I have been able to grow as a couple without family interference. How nice is that huh? Newlyweds and teenagers probably get interrogated more than any other group. Well obviously besides criminals, suspects, persons of interest, you get the point. “When are you having kids?”, “Does she cook?”, “When are you buying a house?”, “Pregnant yet?”, “You’re putting on weight, you must be happy!?”, “Kids yet? Oh don’t worry, get all your travelling in before they come!”, “How’s married life?” (x10,000,000). We just deal with it whenever we go home for those who haven’t seen us for a year or however long it was since our last visit. We’re going into our third year and it’s wearing off so I’m happy about that.
We can also choose what we wish to share. It’s not like we had an argument, then went by one of our parents and they saw the tension and we told them what happened, and they feel obliged to give us some kind of insight on how to resolve the situation, which may then influence our perspective. Yes, it’s nice to hear how different people handle situations in marriage but sometimes, but you want to be the one asking for advice not being given it voluntarily. Some things are best resolved without other people getting involved.
I know it all boils down to people being happy for you and wanting the best but sometimes it can be too much. The space is necessary. Besides, you and your partner know each other – your father doesn’t know your wife like you do, your mother doesn’t know your husband like you do. Most of the time, they’ve only heard one side of the story in arguments and that isn’t enough – biased opinions do not help any situation. We’ve been together for a loooong time and we’ve had our share of ups and downs, and we know that things are best resolved when kept between us and we work on it. Any other person that gets involved isn’t with you 24/7 so, technically, they do not know every aspect of your relationship enough to give input like they are.
The main thing is that you have started your life as one and you should live as one. Yes, two families have been brought together and hopefully, they bring successful marriages for reference, but it’s important that people ask for help instead of it being offered. After all, that’s what everyone wants – a successful marriage.