Is it really what it is?


Some people watch reality t.v. to only dream of living those lifestyles (I won’t lie, to some extent I do as well) but I get drawn because I honestly don’t believe half the shit I’m seeing. I’m talking about the Housewives (Atlanta, OC, Beverly Hills -the only ones I watch) Basketball Wives, and a few others. There is so much talk of bullying and mean girls and sometimes I see it and other times I don’t. Then there is the stupidity.

Costa Rica is in Mexico.” DA FUQ!?

It could end badly or it could end really goodly.” I could see why you’re on 16 and Pregnant..

Sigh. What is really prompting this post is Alexis on the Orange County Housewives. First of all, I understand you felt you were being ganged up on, but when people are trying to talk (they’re not shouting at you or arguing) to you about a perception people have of you:

1. be thankful they just want you to be aware of how people see you.

2. you have ‘friends’ who care enough to let you know and talk to you.

My two cents, grow up. Some people would love to be at a dinner with friends. Some people would love someone to call them out on their shit. Some people would love to have someone who cared enough to let them know these things especially if it came to a head. Unfortunately, they told you about it when all of you were together (and some aren’t even your friends) but at least it didn’t start out as some verbal attack. As a woman, hold your head high, say “thank you for sharing your thoughts even though I do not agree with what you are saying” and eat your meal. People need to stand up for themselves more. This is coming from a person who never used to but now does, and I mean in like the last 5 years or so, and I’m 25… The more you allow people to think that they can talk down to you, attack you verbally or even attempt to make you feel like nothing, shut it down. Be the bigger person. Make them look like the idiot they are being.

I’ve been told I don’t hide my thoughts, I’ve been told it’s appreciated. It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it. Wise words spoken to me by my mother that I like to live by. Communication is key, in every relationship – even getting into a taxi. But I feel like it’s really sad when there are so many people out there who do not have friends that tell them the truth. What are they there for? To feed you compliments and look pretty with you or make you feel good about yourself? Seriously… it’s a lot of crap. Surround yourself with people who uplift you, are honest with you, correct you when you are wrong. If they don’t do any of these things, you need to check and see who your friends really are.

I grew up being teased, not bullied. And when I look back and compare to what I see bullying is here in the US, I am grateful that I went through it. It made me know my faults and deal with them, even if it took a few years. I own those faults and you do not know them better than I do. There is a lot of talk about bullying and stopping it, it’s natural for kids to tease and be mean to each other, but is anyone really pushing for self-confidence? I know it’s a hard job with the size 0 models and perfect looks that are pushed in kids faces of how they should look. It’s actually very ridiculous, but it all begins in the home. If at home kids don’t feel it or see it, then they’re forced to be influenced by outsiders and therein lies the problem.

I could go on for days on this topic but I need to be up early and I didn’t realise it was so late. “Rants” always catch me off guard :). I’d love to hear your thoughts on this post, so please feel free to comment and offer your insight.

xx

Why Am I so Shy…

Why Am I so Shy…

A rainy day in the Caribbean cannot be compared to a rainy day in Seattle. In Barbados, we had a hard downpour for the day or a few but never this misty rain that falls for about 10 days in a row. I’ve adjusted. I’m fine now. It’s just another rainy day.

From Friday to Sunday, my husband and I went on dates every day. It wasn’t planned, it just happened. Friday and Saturday were nice and sunny, Sunday the rain came back. Sitting in a restaurant/café and having conversations with the one you love just does something to you. We’ve been married for just over two and a half years and together for over 10, and up to this day, you’d think we just met each other if you watched us from a distance. We’re playful, we’re always laughing, even when there isn’t verbal communication we still know what the other is thinking with one look. There’s love. We’ve been put to the test many times but we’re still here. And in this gloomy rainy weather, things are just getting better.

But why am I so shy around him still? I would love to know but at the same time I don’t want to. I love feeling like a little school girl sometimes with butterflies. Another rainy day, and I can’t wait for him to come home.

 

Distance makes the love stronger


Besides the cold and gloomy weather in Seattle, one of the hardest things I’ve had to deal with is being so far away from my family. I am very close to my family. After I left, everyone had a blackberry so that we can keep in touch. We Skype at least 2 or 3 times a week but still talk everyday via Whatsapp now since I no longer have a Blackberry. I’m missing my niece and nephew grow into characters but I truly cherish the time I spend with them whenever I go home. I envy my sister and the help she has with them because it’s something I won’t have.

One positive thing about this is that my husband and I have been able to grow as a couple without family interference. How nice is that huh? Newlyweds and teenagers probably get interrogated more than any other group. Well obviously besides criminals, suspects, persons of interest, you get the point. “When are you having kids?”, “Does she cook?”, “When are you buying a house?”, “Pregnant yet?”, “You’re putting on weight, you must be happy!?”, “Kids yet? Oh don’t worry, get all your travelling in before they come!”, “How’s married life?” (x10,000,000). We just deal with it whenever we go home for those who haven’t seen us for a year or however long it was since our last visit. We’re going into our third year and it’s wearing off so I’m happy about that.

We can also choose what we wish to share. It’s not like we had an argument, then went by one of our parents and they saw the tension and we told them what happened, and they feel obliged to give us some kind of insight on how to resolve the situation, which may then influence our perspective. Yes, it’s nice to hear how different people handle situations in marriage but sometimes, but you want to be the one asking for advice not being given it voluntarily. Some things are best resolved without other people getting involved.

I know it all boils down to people being happy for you and wanting the best but sometimes it can be too much. The space is necessary. Besides, you and your partner know each other – your father doesn’t know your wife like you do, your mother doesn’t know your husband like you do. Most of the time, they’ve only heard one side of the story in arguments and that isn’t enough – biased opinions do not help any situation. We’ve been together for a loooong time and we’ve had our share of ups and downs, and we know that things are best resolved when kept between us and we work on it. Any other person that gets involved isn’t with you 24/7 so, technically, they do not know every aspect of your relationship enough to give input like they are.

The main thing is that you have started your life as one and you should live as one. Yes, two families have been brought together and hopefully, they bring successful marriages for reference, but it’s important that people ask for help instead of it being offered. After all, that’s what everyone wants – a successful marriage.

xx