Marriage & Success


In marriage, the little things that seem insignificant, count.

Some people define a successful union by the material things that the couple has managed to accumulate. They’re wrong. Money doesn’t buy happiness. It can’t. It can buy a thrill for the moment but what happens after?

As you may be aware of by now, I’m a housewife. My husband brings home the bacon (but I actually buy it). My mornings consist of getting ready to take him to work and run errands and doing breakfast (most days) and if I’m not having a lazy day, a little tidying up before we leave. But what really puts the icing on the cake is the drive to and from work. We have one car, and after this morning, a second may seem like a nice idea but it’s definitely not a priority.

We’re preparing for a move in less than two weeks and I am trying to get things done around here that when the day comes, I’m not too stressed out and it’ll be a smooth transition. Today, I have a lot I would like to accomplish, so I told him to take the car as he’ll be meeting a friend later and there was no sense in me driving back and forth all day. Well I wish I didn’t do that. After he left, I was just pacing. I saw things that I wanted to work on, even made notes, but I just paced. Then as I decided to go into the shower, he called. My heart almost skipped a beat but this was  a good one. I wanted to call him but not while he was driving.

“I don’t want two cars. I feel a lonely. I miss you”

” 😦 I miss you too! Do you have a meeting? Can you turn around?”

“Yes I do. I can’t.”

“… I feel bad, I want to drive you to work now. I’ve been pacing. It won’t happen again. Love you.”

“Love you too. Bye”

Three years of marriage in September, 11 years as a couple in October. Through thick and thin, break-ups and make-ups, highs and very lows, we still can’t stand to be without the other. Car rides are our backbone. I used to wonder if he was using me as a chauffeur since he’d be either sleeping or responding to emails and messages while I drove but he’s not. Our best jokes, arguments, rants, sincerest conversations happen in the car. It’s our spot. It’s where our best communication occurs. We don’t need an extra car. Not now at least. And when kids come in the future, I’m sure we’ll make it work somehow.

Yes, we’d like to live comfortably and be able to travel whenever but it’s your relationship that matters more than anything. If we had the house with two cars and had to schedule time to see each other, I’m sure we’d be not anywhere near as happy as we are now. We’re young. We’re able to try out a high-rise building before we buy a house. Able to take trips together (we hate flying alone as well) and just be each other’s company. We don’t need words to communicate, one look says it all. The support we share for each other coupled with the fact that we know what we want/need from the other, minus the material things… I’d say we’re pretty successful.

11 years and I’m far from bored with him. I’d say we’re just getting started. 🙂

Real Simple

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

xx

 

 

Why Am I so Shy…

Why Am I so Shy…

A rainy day in the Caribbean cannot be compared to a rainy day in Seattle. In Barbados, we had a hard downpour for the day or a few but never this misty rain that falls for about 10 days in a row. I’ve adjusted. I’m fine now. It’s just another rainy day.

From Friday to Sunday, my husband and I went on dates every day. It wasn’t planned, it just happened. Friday and Saturday were nice and sunny, Sunday the rain came back. Sitting in a restaurant/café and having conversations with the one you love just does something to you. We’ve been married for just over two and a half years and together for over 10, and up to this day, you’d think we just met each other if you watched us from a distance. We’re playful, we’re always laughing, even when there isn’t verbal communication we still know what the other is thinking with one look. There’s love. We’ve been put to the test many times but we’re still here. And in this gloomy rainy weather, things are just getting better.

But why am I so shy around him still? I would love to know but at the same time I don’t want to. I love feeling like a little school girl sometimes with butterflies. Another rainy day, and I can’t wait for him to come home.

 

Distance makes the love stronger


Besides the cold and gloomy weather in Seattle, one of the hardest things I’ve had to deal with is being so far away from my family. I am very close to my family. After I left, everyone had a blackberry so that we can keep in touch. We Skype at least 2 or 3 times a week but still talk everyday via Whatsapp now since I no longer have a Blackberry. I’m missing my niece and nephew grow into characters but I truly cherish the time I spend with them whenever I go home. I envy my sister and the help she has with them because it’s something I won’t have.

One positive thing about this is that my husband and I have been able to grow as a couple without family interference. How nice is that huh? Newlyweds and teenagers probably get interrogated more than any other group. Well obviously besides criminals, suspects, persons of interest, you get the point. “When are you having kids?”, “Does she cook?”, “When are you buying a house?”, “Pregnant yet?”, “You’re putting on weight, you must be happy!?”, “Kids yet? Oh don’t worry, get all your travelling in before they come!”, “How’s married life?” (x10,000,000). We just deal with it whenever we go home for those who haven’t seen us for a year or however long it was since our last visit. We’re going into our third year and it’s wearing off so I’m happy about that.

We can also choose what we wish to share. It’s not like we had an argument, then went by one of our parents and they saw the tension and we told them what happened, and they feel obliged to give us some kind of insight on how to resolve the situation, which may then influence our perspective. Yes, it’s nice to hear how different people handle situations in marriage but sometimes, but you want to be the one asking for advice not being given it voluntarily. Some things are best resolved without other people getting involved.

I know it all boils down to people being happy for you and wanting the best but sometimes it can be too much. The space is necessary. Besides, you and your partner know each other – your father doesn’t know your wife like you do, your mother doesn’t know your husband like you do. Most of the time, they’ve only heard one side of the story in arguments and that isn’t enough – biased opinions do not help any situation. We’ve been together for a loooong time and we’ve had our share of ups and downs, and we know that things are best resolved when kept between us and we work on it. Any other person that gets involved isn’t with you 24/7 so, technically, they do not know every aspect of your relationship enough to give input like they are.

The main thing is that you have started your life as one and you should live as one. Yes, two families have been brought together and hopefully, they bring successful marriages for reference, but it’s important that people ask for help instead of it being offered. After all, that’s what everyone wants – a successful marriage.

xx