marriage – Page 4 – Just a Dash

For the Real Housewives

April 25, 2012June 10, 2014by SymoneF2 Comments

Lately, whenever I’ve been asked where I work I respond by saying “Fowler Inc.” with a straight face and enjoy the perplexed look I receive from the other person. There is no formal Fowler Inc. but for me there is (I have listed it as my place of employment on Facebook). I’m a housewife, and this job is just as serious as any other job. I run this family of two which we do wish to expand, therefore, in a few years there should be a minimum of four and maximum of six ~~who am I kidding having four kids?!? I should make that three, is it too late???~~

Within a month of being married, my husband made it clear he had no desire to be following up on household stuff. I didn’t mind, it meant I wasn’t sitting twiddling my thumbs so as far as I knew, all was well. We’ll be married for 3 years in September and since October 2009, responsibilities have definitely increased.

Take our car for example. We’re a one car family – hey I don’t drive to work and he doesn’t need it during the day. Taking the car to get serviced etc is all up to me. Dealing with this is knowing what hour he needs to be at work, what hours I’ll be free to take it in and still be able to pick him up on time. I’m listed as the contact for everything. So car is finished – call Symone, we want to call and hassle you to buy your car – call Symone, there is a recall for a part on the car – call Symone, you get the idea?

Being the C.E.O. Of Fowler Inc. means I am the contact for everything and chances are, even when you need to speak to my husband about something I know more than he does on the issue (except anything to do with Comcast, that’s his department).

We started having a “family meeting” for me to know when my husband started work during the week to be helpful in choosing the best times to go the gym for personal training and syncing his work hours with any appointments I may have or he may have or need to be scheduled. This meeting time has now progressed to be the time where I decide what I will cook for the week so I also know how to shop at supermarket. Coordination just helps everything to run smoothly. I have a set day for laundry and cleaning is very spontaneous, but at least I know it happens during a certain period.

I’m always asked what do you do? Aren’t you bored? I run a family who is always on the go, I run a household with chores to be done as well as food to be made (we don’t like eating out a lot), I have to make sure everything on this ship runs smoothly and that 80% of the time there are no hiccups (I’m human I need a margin for error). I will never, and never have, mock the life of a real housewife. I’m not talking about the ones who have staff to run a household and say life is hard. I mean the ones who dig in and get dirty. Who schedule, coordinate, live on coffee to keep everything going smoothly so everyone is mostly happy. Every job is an opportunity for growth and humility. A chance to learn how to be more efficient and feel a great sense of pride in what you do. It doesn’t matter how others speak of your job when you know deep down that you have given it your best and feel some accomplishment for what you’ve achieved. Take pride and work your way up to bigger and better things.

#fastfoodthursdays on the menu 🙂

Fashion, Life, Quotes, Uncategorized

Date Night

March 23, 2012April 26, 2012by SymoneFLeave a Comment

As I was flying to Orlando this weekend, I was reading a book on my Kindle Fire (yes I’m advertising) Before you put that on: 365 Daily Style Tips for Her by Llyod Boston and the day’s theme was “Create a sexy ‘date night’ outfit that sparkles for the evening – even of you’ve been married to your date for years.” I found this funny and here is why: I love dressing up but my husband hates it lol! He’ll tell me I look pretty/beautiful or whatever but he doesn’t understand why I’m making so much effort. All I want to do is have him be proud of the lady standing next to him and proud to say: “yeah! That’s my wife!” not look like I rolled out of some dumpster or shipwreck (which I never do but still). I like to keep my style simple and underrated, but my hair must be done and I must feel polished so to speak. For him, it’s more the extra time I take plus he prefers me sans make-up but as I said – polished. I may try out a fashion or two but if it doesn’t blend with what I consider to be “me” I’ll hesitate, ask mum or a friend or two and experiment with it but not let it overshadow who I am. What you see is what you get, and I hope that 4 out of 5 times that you’ve seen me only the length of my hair is the most dramatic transformation.

But isn’t that what men want anyway? A face that isn’t totally transformed when the make-up has been washed off? When the booty pads and enhanced bras come off, we don’t look half the size we portrayed? I like to think I’m keeping it as natural as possible, no matter who I’m meeting. My husband prefers when we’re “equally” dressed – jeans, t-shirt/shirt, slippers/sneakers/shoes but he knows me well enough to know that I will only do that sometimes but other times he has to step up to me :P.

As you’ll see in the pics below, I went for a somewhat vintage look for the wedding. I bought this dress for the wedding from Lulus but was going to wear another one (also from Lulus), even bought shoes for the second one but luckily they went with this one as well and hence my vintage look. I think my style can be classified as simple and sophisticated. I believe in a neutral palette for my face (I’ll add a pop of color in my eyeshadow or on my lips to change it up sometimes) but I think natural beauty should always shine through. Hubby was looking rather sharp at the wedding as well 🙂 cleans up nice when he has to :P. (He’ll probably kill me for saying that lol!)

Anyway, this advice reminded me that regardless, when you look good, you feel good and that translates to your confidence and when you have confidence in yourself, you feel like you can do anything and that is better than shying away from the world or even the people you love. Hence the date night can have a better “happy ending” than you expected 😉 LOL.

“Styles, like everything else, change. Style doesn’t” – Linda Ellerbee

Uncategorized

Let’s Take It Up a Notch!

February 3, 2011by SymoneFLeave a Comment

I think it can be said that most of our “ingenious” ideas pop into our heads when we’re doing one of three things:

travelling from point A to B
using the bathroom
taking a shower

Well in taking my shower just now, after having a Facebook message conversation with a friend, something popped into my head. She asked if I was working (the infamous question for me). I get this a lot and when I explain that I cannot work due to the type of visa I have, I somehow proceed naturally to explain the “work” I do. I run a house. No kids or not pets as yet, but I run a house. Better yet, a home. This post isn’t going to go into detail about that but something more interesting (to me at least).

Often a housewife has two extreme identities associated with her. One is loyal, hardworking, modest, moves swiftly when beckoned and is often not in the limelight but the support behind the spouse that is. Then we have the “gold-digger”housewife who does nothing, is a sexaholic/no sex and spends his money like crazy while always looking good. But why don’t we ever hear or see those who are the perfect blend of those two? Do they exist? I think so because I think I’m one. I won’t say what the perfect mix is, I think it’s pretty obvious, but I want to address the marriage aspect.

I want to address how the spouse views it. More importantly, how we let our spouse view us. I’m sorry but the career woman thing is crap to me as no career could stop me from having a family. It’s called retirement for a reason, you sit back and let your kids look after you and your pension, not spend you pension on your 16 year old. Anyway, back to my point. I can’t say all housewives go into the marriage knowing they will be one, but it’s what happens when they are one.

First let me address the marriage. I don’t have statistics about how many young women are getting married but I will speak about myself. When I got married at 22, I thought “school is over, time for the big girl act: make-up, heels and classy but sexy wardrobe”. Well, my flat feet allow me to barely make heels comfortable for 10 minutes if that long. I HATE foundation and powder, eyeshadow comes out for special occasions, and lipstick makes an appearance when I want to feel “woman-ish”. So there goes that whole thought; but there’s more to me than my physical appearance. Confidence can be worn with lip balm, jeans, a vest and some chucks and look better than a pencil skirt suit with a full face of make up, Jimmy Choos and an up-do.

As a 21st Century housewife, I don’t let myself go, I exercise and make and effort when I leave home to not look homeless. I keep the house clean, it is my workspace. I make sure my husband is happy, he’s giving me a salary – not allowance; ~~so can I be like his dirty little secretary?~~ I’m as confident as the female CEO of a Fortune 500 company because I run this home, it’s my Fortune 500 company and it won’t run to the ground. I remember that at the end of the day, it’s us, we’ve become our own family, a new branch of our own family trees.

So from this my husband knows I won’t sit around all day doing nothing, therefore, he can’t call me lazy. He can’t say he’s not attracted to me because even if I did gain 15lbs from being a newlywed, I lost it and look better than before we were married. He can’t say he doesn’t want to take me anywhere for fear of embarrassment, because he knows I’m educated and confident.

It’s not about losing yourself in the marriage or family but remembering what got you there and keeping goals for yourself to make sure you only improve each year and not digress.