I think it can be said that most of our “ingenious” ideas pop into our heads when we’re doing one of three things:
- travelling from point A to B
- using the bathroom
- taking a shower
Well in taking my shower just now, after having a Facebook message conversation with a friend, something popped into my head. She asked if I was working (the infamous question for me). I get this a lot and when I explain that I cannot work due to the type of visa I have, I somehow proceed naturally to explain the “work” I do. I run a house. No kids or not pets as yet, but I run a house. Better yet, a home. This post isn’t going to go into detail about that but something more interesting (to me at least).
Often a housewife has two extreme identities associated with her. One is loyal, hardworking, modest, moves swiftly when beckoned and is often not in the limelight but the support behind the spouse that is. Then we have the “gold-digger”housewife who does nothing, is a sexaholic/no sex and spends his money like crazy while always looking good. But why don’t we ever hear or see those who are the perfect blend of those two? Do they exist? I think so because I think I’m one. I won’t say what the perfect mix is, I think it’s pretty obvious, but I want to address the marriage aspect.
I want to address how the spouse views it. More importantly, how we let our spouse view us. I’m sorry but the career woman thing is crap to me as no career could stop me from having a family. It’s called retirement for a reason, you sit back and let your kids look after you and your pension, not spend you pension on your 16 year old. Anyway, back to my point. I can’t say all housewives go into the marriage knowing they will be one, but it’s what happens when they are one.
First let me address the marriage. I don’t have statistics about how many young women are getting married but I will speak about myself. When I got married at 22, I thought “school is over, time for the big girl act: make-up, heels and classy but sexy wardrobe”. Well, my flat feet allow me to barely make heels comfortable for 10 minutes if that long. I HATE foundation and powder, eyeshadow comes out for special occasions, and lipstick makes an appearance when I want to feel “woman-ish”. So there goes that whole thought; but there’s more to me than my physical appearance. Confidence can be worn with lip balm, jeans, a vest and some chucks and look better than a pencil skirt suit with a full face of make up, Jimmy Choos and an up-do.
As a 21st Century housewife, I don’t let myself go, I exercise and make and effort when I leave home to not look homeless. I keep the house clean, it is my workspace. I make sure my husband is happy, he’s giving me a salary – not allowance;
so can I be like his dirty little secretary? I’m as confident as the female CEO of a Fortune 500 company because I run this home, it’s my Fortune 500 company and it won’t run to the ground. I remember that at the end of the day, it’s us, we’ve become our own family, a new branch of our own family trees.
So from this my husband knows I won’t sit around all day doing nothing, therefore, he can’t call me lazy. He can’t say he’s not attracted to me because even if I did gain 15lbs from being a newlywed, I lost it and look better than before we were married. He can’t say he doesn’t want to take me anywhere for fear of embarrassment, because he knows I’m educated and confident.
It’s not about losing yourself in the marriage or family but remembering what got you there and keeping goals for yourself to make sure you only improve each year and not digress.