What Is Your Role?

Just hear me out…

I am *tired* of seeing quotes, statuses, videos and rants about what men and women should be. Half the time it’s a single person speaking their mind and a ton of other single or broken hearted people “liking” and sharing these quotes.

Call me old fashioned and still a newly wed but here’s my view:

When you enter a relationship *NEVER* expect that person to automatically change for you. You are two totally different people with personalities that have meshed. Any changes that need to be made for the relationship to work, will come naturally or you both work towards it if you really want it to progress.

This shit about a role of a woman and a role of a man being laid out like it’s the law is BS. B-S!! You both assess what you’re bringing to the table and you find a way to compromise and make it work. You appreciate what the other is bringing and you lift each other up where the other is lacking in a LOVING way. You do not belittle the other person because you only push them away.

Relationships are a lifetime work-in-progress. Life changes and so do you. You grow together and if that’s not possible keep trying until you’ve exhausted all of your options. You should never be the same person you were 5 years ago. If you are, go out some big girl panties/briefs on and GROW UP.

People + the Internet

Let’s be real, the internet has it’s perks – people have launched careers from it and we can Bing it or check Wikipedia. Then there is the downside to it. The negative comments, the people taking on different personalities or persons altogether, cyber bullying and people searching for fame that really need to go and sit in a corner.

I started my fashion blog because I like when people share their purchases because you get ideas even if you do not want to get the same product they’ve bought. It’s one of the good things about the internet and social media – sharing. You also get reviews on products you want to try but just want other’s opinions on it first to make an informed decision.

I was watching a video tonight where Dulce was showing her makeup collection because people requested it. I am always amazed by the comments made under videos like these, and on Instagram, and it has led me to only want to write on my little blog and not share a video. Don’t mistake what I’m saying for weakness. I would do videos but I fear what may slip from my tongue in the initial stages before I just ignore the negative comments and acknowledge those who are positive.

My question is WHY? Unless you’re some amazing computer whizz there isn’t much anonymity behind an account. Why do you think it is ok to be so negative and judgmental of people? Why do you think it is ok to pretend to be someone else and toy with someone’s emotions? Why is ok for you to pick on someone behind a screen? That little bit of, what you perceive to be, enjoyment you get from messing with someone is always short lived compared to what happens to you when you are called out for your actions.

Then there are those idiots who do shit, there is no point in censoring this, to get attention. The video of the girl “eating” the tampon had me enraged. It took me a while to watch it, (I had to because I thought she was actually going to swallow it and I thought that was unbelievable) I paused right before it went into her mouth. First of all, what on earth made her think this was ok? I was even more enraged when I saw her place it on the counter and drink from a cup. I hope part of her punishment from her parents was to scrub that bathroom with Clorox. That is, if her parents even punished her. Lawd if that was my child…. she would rather be bullied at school than be in my house. No I won’t beat her ass but she will know not to make a stupid decision again. I would not have an umph of sympathy if she came crying to me about people telling her shit. You did that to yourself. You were old enough to know what you were doing was shit, maybe not the repercussions of it over the span of your life, but old enough to know right from wrong. I’m done with this topic, shit gives me a headache whenever I start thinking about it.

Then there’s the issue of Catfish and the footballer Manti Te’o. I cannot comprehend how you can carry on a relationship with someone for so long without seeing them and it gets so serious. It baffles me. I won’t go into the Te’o situation, I’m tired of that as well. But the tv series Catfish is just amazing. No! Please don’t think I mean a good amazing. I get pissed amazing. The same can be said for online dating sites. I hope life never leads me to have to create a profile on one. People will always be able to trick you in life – online or offline – but when you set yourself up to be in a situation like that, I feel very little sympathy when you realize you’ve been tricked.

I would love to type more on this topic but my head hurts from the little I’ve written and from what I’ve seen for the night.




Another travel rant…

I had a lovely post about my recent trip to post today and I have to put that off until another day. Instead, I’m sharing an experience in hope that others will speak up and get what is due to them from these irresponsible companies.

Yesterday I took three flights to get home. We left Barbados at 730a (GMT -4hrs) and arrived in Seattle at 9pm (GMT-8hrs) – one full day of travelling. We always use American Airlines because it is the only airline that we can use right through to Barbados from Seattle. I always felt like AA was never consistent with their customer service. For the last flight, I went to switch our seats to be together as we were separated by one seat. The agent told me it’s a full flight and he could put me next to my husband and notify the person in that seat of the change. Just before boarding I was called up again, and to my surprised we were bumped up to first class. Now, this was a huge surprise and I was just elated that for the last flight we could be a little more comfortable and have a nice meal. The previous flights went smoothly, without any hiccups and overall we just thought this was a nice trip back.

Until we got our luggage.

20121007-132940.jpgWhen we arrived in Miami (our first stop) after going through immigration, we had to re-check our luggage. When I picked it up, my luggage was fine, so between Miami and Dallas, this had to happen. That dent is the size of my fist, and it has a crack. This piece isn’t even a year old yet and neither my husband nor myself are able to push it out. It’s a hard material and would need to be hammered out if anything. What upset me the most, is that when I pointed it out to the agent at Baggage Claim, she pointed to a sign and said this would be counted as wear and tear and they are not responsible for any dents or cuts or cracks. If this was an old piece of luggage, I wouldn’t have been as pissed. I travel a lot but domestically and use a carry-on. This piece went to Barbados and back twice. We spent money on luggage to ensure that we wouldn’t be buying new pieces constantly because we are aware of the bad treatment luggage gets. But to look at me and say this would be classified as wear and tear? I blew the roof and I had a little twitter rant. Please excuse the language but remember I was pissed.

Of course I mentioned American Airlines, and they responded with the following:

It was basically a link highlighting their conditions for accepting liability. Fine print really, and that just sent me over the roof even more. A link? Really? The second link telling me to share my experience with customer service was even more interesting. There is no number to call. You have to submit a written letter. I guess this was a blessing in disguise for whoever was going to be on the other side of the shit storm I was about to bring. I had a shower and wrote the following email to them:

I am very disappointed and upset with the service I received today while travelling on your airline. I picked up my luggage after flying for over 12 hours on three different flights, only to have damaged luggage (a dent the size of my fist plus a crack in the hard material) that the agent says you are not liable for. That piece is less than a year old and was first and last used for our trip to Barbados for Christmas 2011. As customers, we spend money on luggage to ensure the protection of our belongings and then to see them treated like this is just unacceptable. I was on the verge of praising your company again because I always felt like I received shitty service for this to happen now. I was hoping to attach a picture but there is no option for that and I am not spending money on a stamp to mail you a letter because right now I feel like you do not deserve a cent more from me. You can check with your Twitter correspondent as I posted it there. We just purchased our tickets to go back to Barbados for Christmas  and I honestly feel like it was a huge mistake. I am from Barbados and unfortunately you are the only consistent airline that flies there. You make me not want to fly home, but I have family I want to see. I expect some sort of compensation for this. It was a new piece! 

To add insult to injury, when I opened up my luggage TSA made a mess of my stuff. I bring back a seasoning in a jar that is commonly used back home. It has a bit of liquid in it from the onions etc but is mainly finely chopped ingredients. The last time I brought some back, I sealed the bags and left a note asking TSA to reseal properly and they did. This time I did the same hoping that I would get the same result but unfortunately I didn’t. The one bottle they opened (they were in packs of three) they closed back but didn’t put it back in the bag and the liquid spilled on my husband’s clothes. Imagine, I was livid from the dent in my suitcase but to open up my husband’s when we got home and see that, I totally blew the roof. I had 4 3-packs of the seasoning and they took every single one out of the bags and just left them out. I am very thankful none of them broke as I had the clothing protecting it. I also sent them an email. I was really on a roll last night. But this morning, as I was emptying my dented suitcase I also found that they had ripped one of the tabs used to snap the detachable pouch on. I really didn’t know what to think anymore.

I find it ridiculous that we pay lots of money to travel now, we don’t get any food, and what we have to pay for has the potential to put us in the hospital from being sick from it. Then we have to deal with people tossing our luggage around like garbage and our stuff is damaged and we are left to foot the bill for their irresponsibility. Then when we actually try to do something about it, we’re given a run around that just makes you want to leave everything after a while. I intend to follow through and at least know I was heard and have them held accountable for this at some level. I don’t remember the last time I was this angry. I was coughing and my heart was racing and no matter what my husband did, he couldn’t calm me down. So I headed to church this morning to ask for peace and guidance in dealing with this situation and forgiveness for losing my cool the way I did. It’s the least I could do for now.

I’ll post the good post tomorrow to bring the blog back to it’s happy state. Thanks for reading and please feel free to share your thoughts below!