Girls

Sometimes, to put out your best work, you have to just put everything on the line and hope that the true message is received. Most of my ideas for “deep” blogs come about from conversations with friends. I do not put anyone’s business out there and I won’t just for your reading pleasure. It’s what came to me during these conversations that sparks my fingers to do more talking on it. I try to focus more on my personal experiences anyway so you know I’m not just talking out of my butt on stuff. After all I’m not qualified or anything.

I’ll put today’s topic as Girls ~ getting past those heffers. (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=heffer) just in case..

I’ve always been very guarded with my female friends. ALL women have issues. So, no I was not one to hang out with the boys more, I’d say I was more loner if I didn’t have my girlfriends to hang with. There is no nice way to put it, women can be jealous, mean and the most compassionate person within 3 seconds. But sometimes we never know how to deal with them, even as women! Things we may not have a problem with, someone else does, and we can’t figure out why the hell they get on our tails about an issue even if it has nothing to do with them. “Why is she being such a b***ch about it?” we often wonder… I don’t have the answer and I never will. 

I’m a guarded person naturally so I don’t share much about myself with others unless I feel like they’re (trust)worthy of knowing about me in depth. I’d have to say it’s the catty behaviour that has prompted me to do this more as I got older. Even when you’re young girls can be quite mean, and only the wise see it for the blind just tag along and are happy to call the mean girls their BFFs. I may have been seen as a mean girl but I don’t stand for crap or entertain certain behaviours so it may have been mistaken for me being a b***ch and I didn’t mind because I knew within, I didn’t have to deal with crap as long as other people did.

The thing about females is this, once you’ve realised that this person isn’t doing anything positive for you, you have to just move on without them. Some females believe it is their job to bring misery to your life, and yes, sometimes it may hurt and get to you, but is there anything better than rising above it to show them that they’re merely dust on your shoulders? If they hurt you, cry once and never again. You had time to grieve and they don’t deserve more than that.

Cut all ties. Yes in the back of our heads we may be thinking she may go psycho on me and spill everything or attack me or turn people against me. But on the bright side, if you have true friends and these things do take place, when it’s over, you know who was truly your friend and who wasn’t. Maybe you’d want to distance yourself slowly if you’re truly scared but once you’re clear cut all ties. I think this is so hard because you remember the fun times you had and how she was almost or practically on the bff level, and it scares us to think they will be out of our lives. But sometimes we have to do what’s best for ourselves if we want to move forward positively and devote our time and effort to those who have our true interests at heart. The time for school girl antics is over, as adults (even if others don’t want to behave as adults) we need to accept change and move froward accordingly.

Men will never understand women especially when women don’t understand women. Even when you’ve found a  girlfriend who matches your personality, she will still have some characteristic that you dislike, but as a true friend you either call her out on it and hope that she works on it or just accept that as her personality and continue to draw on the good qualities/characteristics that she has, that drew you to her in the first place. Even females are drawn to other females because you see something in them that you see in yourself.

Since I moved to the US, I can say that I have lost a few female friends that I considered to be good friends and not just acquaintances. It is during moments like these (moving on in life) where you realise  who was truly your friend and who wasn’t. I know who my friends are because we’re over 3000 miles away from each other and every time we speak we just continue from the last conversation. Others… if a conversation even occurs, it’s as painful as an underarm wax.

I often bring up the term “reason, season or lifetime” and for me, it was a case of finally accepting that that friendship wasn’t meant to be and moving on. I tried to salvage some but it wasn’t worth it, but to accept that their season or reason was up, and it was time for me to move on and put that effort into another potential lifetime friendship. If some friendships are meant to be “rekindled” then it will happen naturally.

xx