There is nothing that could prepare you for life with a baby/child. Nothing. I used to babysit and I don’t even think that was preparation for this. At the end of the day, their parents were the ones to end the night. I’ve found that my days begin, on average, around 6.30a and I’m in bed by midnight. When my husband comes home from work, he takes care of baby while I try to catch up with everything that was too much to do with baby during the day.
I’m beyond grateful that my husband is so hands on with dealing with Kai. However, I’m very anal about how certain things are done so I don’t exactly have a break once he gets home in the evening. I give Kai his evening bath and wait until he’s had his last bottle (not if it’s after 12) to wash all of his bottles to start each day with a fresh set of bottles.
The only routine I have now, that is still standing since Kai was born, is that I have a bath every morning before David leaves. I can deal with Kai’s bath etc alone, but my bath time, I treasure that shit. Even if we don’t have plans for the day, I get myself bathed and dress and Kai just in case. If he’s miserable, I don’t have to worry about getting both of us decent to go for a walk.
Routines are a thing of the past. No week is ever the same. No day is ever the same in a row. Life has changed. Definitely for the better. And I don’t want it to be the same as before. Words cannot express the joy I feel when I look at my son (mostly while he’s asleep). Even on days when he’s getting on my last nerve being whiny and miserable, he gives me this sweet smile with tears in his eyes that just melts my heart. I just want to do everything to make him not cry, to not be unhappy, to just be settled and at peace.
We got back from a weekend trip to Portland and I had a list of things I wanted to do while my husband stayed home yesterday. But no. I really missed blogging and I said I’m going to pour myself a 1/4 cup of wine (I’m a lightweight now) and treasure times like now where I can just put my fingers on the keyboard and let it out. Seriously though, I’m forever grateful that people are still reading my blog even though I haven’t posted for months. I feel this drive to try to get back into it. Most of the time, when I get a break I just want to pass out on the bed and get a nap.
I would love to think that a routine is something that can be established again. I like routines. But for now I just want to enjoy him. He’s now 5 months and he’s been sitting on his own from 4.5months and he’s trying to scoot everywhere now. He’s also teething. I really want him to go back to being my little baby but more like – 10lbs, feeding every 4hrs, sleeping through the night and smiling lol. I know that doesn’t exist but it would be amazing! I’ve been blessed with a baby who hardly cries, is a little chub monster, drinks 6oz and can go up to 5hours in between bottles and is for the most part sleeping through the night. I love taking him everywhere with me because he’s very easy to deal with and also, he’s easier outside of the apartment! Not everyone has it this easy that’s why I’m counting my blessings and enjoying them while I can.
It’s just amazing to watch this little person grow. I adore his laugh and I just want to make him laugh more. What’s life without laughter? It wouldn’t be a life in this little family of mine. We live to laugh and love to laugh with and at one another. I think if we had a motto it would be “if you can’t laugh at yourself, you don’t deserve to laugh“.
I’m kinda back with the posts. I miss this.