I’ve been battling with the decision of if I should grow my hair or not for quite a while.. No I don’t mean 2 weeks, since last summer. I managed to get a bob and then cut it all off in November. I’d love to be able to have an updo, have it out and play with it but I also love the freedom of short hair. When it’s hot, I don’t have to pin it up. When I’m rushing, I don’t take as long to do it. I want to feel the length again.. But I’m weary of having to do the whole wash and flat iron thing :S. I was thinking I should just put a wash and blow dry in my budget and see how it goes. I’ll add two pics and maybe you can help me. My hair is really thick so the thought of dealing with it really makes me not want to grow it. The other con is, when I was in Barbados, I never had to deal with winter coats or coats in general, this is one of the reasons I keep it short, so it doesn’t get caught and pulled in the coats and mess up the styles. I’m really thinking to go for it… Maybe you can help 🙂
Click on the Comments button on the bottom of this post. I look forward to reading them :).
I can’t put my finger on it but there is something that is taking over me. I feel peace within myself, like everything is going to be OK. I usually stress about small things, and things I cannot control but still attempt to control. Can it be something that happens with age? Or is this the calm before the storm? I’ve had a few hiccups this year but even though I know there are some things I can’t control, I feel like they’ve been lifted from me and whatever happens was meant to happen. I can fight for love, family, (some) friends, but at the end of the day, not everything is worth the fight and you have to give up control and let things happen as they were supposed to.
Besides prayer and church, music (Adele & Livvi Franc) is the one thing that I find soothes my core. It can either make me very emotional or lift my spirits to where they should be giving me this positive force to move forward with. It’s still in my nature to think of the future and how what I do today will affect it. Not just relationships and financial decisions but little crap like if I tidy up a room too early I give myself the chance to make it untidy again before someone comes to visit and have to clean it all over again (see what I mean? crap!).
Unfortunately, over the years, this stressing over crap has lead to tension headaches, tension in my shoulders (probably leading to the headaches) and this tendency to always look serious. Apparently from small I always had the pensive look but as I got older and with the age of Botox, I’m reminding myself that the less pensive I am the less I qualify for this treatment. I don’t know why I tend to “overthink” things (and in the process end up with some warped conclusion). I’ve moved from wondering about stuff to wondering why I’m thinking about this stuff and why I’m giving myself a furrowed brow over it. See?! I was just very tensed thinking about that sentence and writing it. Look away and come back to reality… WOOSAH!
Deep breaths. Is it necessary? Is it really going to affect my life as much as I think it will or is it something I’m trying to control that I have no control over? Why? Why am I going on about it? Amazing how much taking a deep breath and calming yourself can help a relationship as well. Ever realized how much nothing is resolved when two people are shouting at each other? Inner peace → calm mind, calm heart → rational thinking → less stress! You can’t the other person’s actions but you can control yours. Once you have control over yourself, you can react responsibly. This also means self control. If you know you get angry quick, it means you have to train yourself. I had to do this (still working on it in some aspects) because I had to think if it’s worth getting a migraine over or not.
In the end, you are responsible for your actions. It’s like eating 2 scoops of ice cream everyday and wondering where the weight came from. All of our actions have answers. I can only find inner peace if I accept I CANNOT control everything- that sometimes I need to be in the backseat and not the driver of every car I get into. No one said it was easy, but you have to be willing to find it within yourself to let it happen. Reflect on your life, where it’s going, what you want it to be and know that the only person stopping you is yourself. Obstacles may arise but you are the one who decides if they’ll stop you or how you will get around it. If you have wrongs to right, do it sooner rather than later.
*On another note*
I’ve been listening to these two songs for the last two hours (my neighbours probably want me to shut up).. Enjoy 🙂
I’m a member of a group on Facebook for poets, lyricists and musicians. A new topic was added today, and for the first time since I joined the group, I felt this urge to write on this topic (not saying I didn’t before but today I stopped everything and began to write). The topic was “Abandon”. I expected most people to write about being abandoned by someone but I wanted my poem to give another aspect that most probably wouldn’t think to give. You see, today was sunny AND warm, and for the first time for the year in Bellevue, Wa sweat poured from me due to the “heat” that I felt. It wasn’t even 60 degrees yet but I felt it. So I hope you understand and like my poem and my perspective of “abandon”.
I waited patiently, still I could not see,
What was owed to me yet not meant to be.
A peek would do but wouldn’t be the same,
I longed for the warmth but it never came.
A few months passed,
The light was dim in my heart.
Finally a ray of hope,
Of what could be the start.
The cool breeze couldn’t stop
The water that ran,
The sweat was welcomed,
Running down my hand.
Alas I can see and feel
All that I waited for.
The warmth of the sun
And the sweat that poured.
No longer shall I feel abandoned and ashamed
An island girl playing the Winter game.
Do you like?
Today, I’m going to the gym for the third day in a row, and as tired and sore as I am, I can’t stop this flow that my husband has so I’ve got my playlist together and I’ll just stay on the treadmill for about half an hour. Something is better than nothing and I have to keep these muscles in check so they don’t get out of shape again. Dinner is finished so we can eat when we return and I need to be in bed early as tomorrow starts earlier than usual. I’m happy, and I’m happy that even though I do not work, my days are filled with things to do even if I don’t know what the hell I’m doing and I still have a supportive husband. Count your blessings one by one and remember just be happy to have life and live it to the fullest. 🙂
Just a Dash 