Observations, QOtD


I’ve become more open. I talk more. I never used to. People took it for rudeness, or just being shy but I’m very introverted. Hence my love for writing. I’ve always had a handful of friends that I consider to be close. Never one to have a million friends around me all the time. I don’t do that. But more than anything I would be quiet, observe your behavior and then see if you were someone I’d want to befriend. If you made me feel like I could be myself. If you made me comfortable that anything I said was safe, nothing was off limits and yet you wouldn’t take my kindness for weakness. Silence meant observation. You could say I’m judgmental. I wouldn’t. I would say I don’t want to waste my energy on people I don’t think deserve it. To each his own.

I didn’t plan on writing a post but when I saw this quote of the day in my inbox it just really hit home for me. I didn’t talk and people found that intriguing. They knew I had a lot going on in my head but the fact that I didn’t say it, captivated them more and made them wonder what I was thinking. It’s funny, my husband’s family are always very curious when I don’t give my two cents on a topic or even when I am quiet. Sometimes, I don’t think my two cents is worth sharing. Sometimes, I think as an outsider my input shouldn’t count and it’s better left unsaid. Sometimes, I think I prefer if my thoughts stay with me as it may not be the time to express them. Timing is everything. For me at least. I don’t like when people talk too much, I get this sense of them just wanting to be heard, therefore, you are not thinking about what you really want to say and by doing so, you are just spewing BS.

Take the time today to be silent, and observe what is being said around you. What makes sense and who is just talking to be heard. Silence is golden. Listen to those who speak from the heart not the head, it means there is passion and belief.

Taken from Real Simple

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On another note, I want to ask everyone to pray for those who died and were injured in the shooting last night in the theatre in Aurora, Colorado. I don’t remember the last time I wanted to book a ticket and fly home the same time. It’s truly sad what happened and I hope and pray that this was a one off thing. Every day we hear of people being killed and abused and it just doesn’t sit well with me. Yes there will be inequality, there will be abuse and there will be people who just seek to cause harm to others, but we need to be more vigilant and help those that need it if we see that something isn’t right. Life is too short. Let those you love know you love them and treat everyone the way you would want to be treated. Have a safe weekend.

Lots of love.

xx

Is it really what it is?


Some people watch reality t.v. to only dream of living those lifestyles (I won’t lie, to some extent I do as well) but I get drawn because I honestly don’t believe half the shit I’m seeing. I’m talking about the Housewives (Atlanta, OC, Beverly Hills -the only ones I watch) Basketball Wives, and a few others. There is so much talk of bullying and mean girls and sometimes I see it and other times I don’t. Then there is the stupidity.

Costa Rica is in Mexico.” DA FUQ!?

It could end badly or it could end really goodly.” I could see why you’re on 16 and Pregnant..

Sigh. What is really prompting this post is Alexis on the Orange County Housewives. First of all, I understand you felt you were being ganged up on, but when people are trying to talk (they’re not shouting at you or arguing) to you about a perception people have of you:

1. be thankful they just want you to be aware of how people see you.

2. you have ‘friends’ who care enough to let you know and talk to you.

My two cents, grow up. Some people would love to be at a dinner with friends. Some people would love someone to call them out on their shit. Some people would love to have someone who cared enough to let them know these things especially if it came to a head. Unfortunately, they told you about it when all of you were together (and some aren’t even your friends) but at least it didn’t start out as some verbal attack. As a woman, hold your head high, say “thank you for sharing your thoughts even though I do not agree with what you are saying” and eat your meal. People need to stand up for themselves more. This is coming from a person who never used to but now does, and I mean in like the last 5 years or so, and I’m 25… The more you allow people to think that they can talk down to you, attack you verbally or even attempt to make you feel like nothing, shut it down. Be the bigger person. Make them look like the idiot they are being.

I’ve been told I don’t hide my thoughts, I’ve been told it’s appreciated. It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it. Wise words spoken to me by my mother that I like to live by. Communication is key, in every relationship – even getting into a taxi. But I feel like it’s really sad when there are so many people out there who do not have friends that tell them the truth. What are they there for? To feed you compliments and look pretty with you or make you feel good about yourself? Seriously… it’s a lot of crap. Surround yourself with people who uplift you, are honest with you, correct you when you are wrong. If they don’t do any of these things, you need to check and see who your friends really are.

I grew up being teased, not bullied. And when I look back and compare to what I see bullying is here in the US, I am grateful that I went through it. It made me know my faults and deal with them, even if it took a few years. I own those faults and you do not know them better than I do. There is a lot of talk about bullying and stopping it, it’s natural for kids to tease and be mean to each other, but is anyone really pushing for self-confidence? I know it’s a hard job with the size 0 models and perfect looks that are pushed in kids faces of how they should look. It’s actually very ridiculous, but it all begins in the home. If at home kids don’t feel it or see it, then they’re forced to be influenced by outsiders and therein lies the problem.

I could go on for days on this topic but I need to be up early and I didn’t realise it was so late. “Rants” always catch me off guard :). I’d love to hear your thoughts on this post, so please feel free to comment and offer your insight.

xx

Distance makes the love stronger


Besides the cold and gloomy weather in Seattle, one of the hardest things I’ve had to deal with is being so far away from my family. I am very close to my family. After I left, everyone had a blackberry so that we can keep in touch. We Skype at least 2 or 3 times a week but still talk everyday via Whatsapp now since I no longer have a Blackberry. I’m missing my niece and nephew grow into characters but I truly cherish the time I spend with them whenever I go home. I envy my sister and the help she has with them because it’s something I won’t have.

One positive thing about this is that my husband and I have been able to grow as a couple without family interference. How nice is that huh? Newlyweds and teenagers probably get interrogated more than any other group. Well obviously besides criminals, suspects, persons of interest, you get the point. “When are you having kids?”, “Does she cook?”, “When are you buying a house?”, “Pregnant yet?”, “You’re putting on weight, you must be happy!?”, “Kids yet? Oh don’t worry, get all your travelling in before they come!”, “How’s married life?” (x10,000,000). We just deal with it whenever we go home for those who haven’t seen us for a year or however long it was since our last visit. We’re going into our third year and it’s wearing off so I’m happy about that.

We can also choose what we wish to share. It’s not like we had an argument, then went by one of our parents and they saw the tension and we told them what happened, and they feel obliged to give us some kind of insight on how to resolve the situation, which may then influence our perspective. Yes, it’s nice to hear how different people handle situations in marriage but sometimes, but you want to be the one asking for advice not being given it voluntarily. Some things are best resolved without other people getting involved.

I know it all boils down to people being happy for you and wanting the best but sometimes it can be too much. The space is necessary. Besides, you and your partner know each other – your father doesn’t know your wife like you do, your mother doesn’t know your husband like you do. Most of the time, they’ve only heard one side of the story in arguments and that isn’t enough – biased opinions do not help any situation. We’ve been together for a loooong time and we’ve had our share of ups and downs, and we know that things are best resolved when kept between us and we work on it. Any other person that gets involved isn’t with you 24/7 so, technically, they do not know every aspect of your relationship enough to give input like they are.

The main thing is that you have started your life as one and you should live as one. Yes, two families have been brought together and hopefully, they bring successful marriages for reference, but it’s important that people ask for help instead of it being offered. After all, that’s what everyone wants – a successful marriage.

xx