travel

First Year of Marriage

March 25, 2013March 26, 2013by SymoneFLeave a Comment

I am sorry if I’ve been neglecting this blog. I feel like it’s doing OK on it’s own and I can devote a little more time to my other blog to get it on it’s feet. As usual I write when I feel inclined to share my views on something that is knocking on the door to my mind.

I am baffled by the fact that Bravo is doing a show on whether or not people will make it through the first year of marriage. The first year of marriage is so critical that I feel like they’re making a mockery of it. Furthermore, it’s supposed to be one of the happiest years! Yes there is some adjustment involved but I personally don’t think it’s something that people should sign up for if there are any doubts about their marriage. There are a few things that I know made mine lovely.

Therapy

I am Catholic and one of the requirements prior to getting married was therapy. There were several things about these sessions that have stuck with me to this day and also changed the way I approach my marriage. One of the most critical issues that was addressed during therapy was my husband’s career and the way it will affect our marriage. Luckily for us, we saw a therapist who saw a lot of couples married to people who work at Microsoft, Google and other tech companies in the area. In short, programmers and night owls, and when they’re in the zone, they are in the zone. They don’t know when to stop and leave home (if they’re working on something prior to attending a dinner or something). Basically, you have to know what you’re getting into. If you’re young, be aware of budding careers. Be aware that if you find yourself always concerned with work, when you aren’t working, to make sure you give your partner some attention and let them know how much you appreciate them. It will always be a work in progress and that is what marriage is – a work in progress.

Therapy is good throughout marriage as well. I have made it a point to try to play therapist within my marriage and go out on a limb and ask stuff or address issues that I think would go over with a third party present who has an unbiased opinion. I also let my husband know it’s a discussion so we will talk and respect each other’s decisions.

You get nothing resolved and your point is lost when there is a screaming match. Speak in calm tones and be reasonable. Listen to each other.

Get Away!

As hard as it was to be so far away from my family, being away from them was also critical to building a good foundation for my marriage. And it’s not only me! I also have two friends who said the same thing. Being away from all of the people giving their opinions about what you should or shouldn’t do, giving their opinions on a little quarrel you two might have had, is important. Piece of advice – IT’S YOUR MARRIAGE! THEY ARE NOT IN IT SO THEY DO NOT HAVE ANY INPUT IN ANYTHING! Your husband’s mother can’t tell you how you should’ve handled a situation because he is not in the same relationship with her as he is with you. My mother can’t tell him how to deal with something I did because I don’t respond the same way to her as I do to him. You get what I’m saying? Always welcome advice, but at the end of the day, make your final decisions based on the person you know as your partner, not what others think or have heard because there is always three sides to a story – your version, his version and the truth (don’t remember where I heard that but I’m not claiming it). If you can’t move too far away, keep your business to yourself. Having all of your business out there and everyone giving their two cents doesn’t make anything easier for you. Keep it between you and your partner. If you really need to share or offload, make sure you can trust that person and let them know up front if you’re just offloading or if you actually want their advice. Unwanted/unwelcomed advice is never a good thing. When all else fails…

We went on our honeymoon about 6 months after we got married and that made a huge difference for us. It was something we were looking forward to after winter and it was going to be an “adventure” for both of us. I’ve been pleading with my husband to return to Maui since. Not only because I loved it, it was somewhere we’d never been before and it was just us. Every trip we’ve been on since, we’ve known somewhere there. A getaway is major because it gives you that chance to go back to the beginning. Take at least 4 days to go somewhere away from everything, everyone, no phones (unless you need directions or food options/reviews) and just enjoy each other’s company. In other words, get time away to discuss any issues you’ve had/ are having (this seems to be handled better outside of the home) and get your groove back at the same time ;).

David and I at our hotel's Luau - 2010 — David and I at our hotel’s Luau – 2010

I could go on for the whole night but it’s getting late. I’ve just found those few to be very critical for my first year. I don’t know if I want to watch the show yet but from the trailers, I don’t feel good about it. What are your thoughts on getting through the first year of marriage? What about 5 years? I’d love to hear, I’m approaching 4 this year. I’d love to hear your views in general so please leave some below in the comments.

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415

February 25, 2013February 25, 2013by SymoneFLeave a Comment

Over the weekend, my husband and I headed to San Francisco for a little pre-birthday trip. I wanted to go. There was food to be eaten and places to be seen.

Seeing that this was my third trip there, I wasn’t as camera happy as I should’ve been but I did get some pics of stuff and I definitely didn’t get pics of things that I should have.

I wanted to visit a Benefit Cosmetics Boutique. Last time I was there and saw one, it was closed so that was priority on my list! You can read all about that visit here.

I wanted to eat at what I’m now officially calling my favorite restaurant: Cha Cha Cha. I wrote about it after my first trip to San Francisco. I did get a picture of the sangria, they’re known for it… I had to. I had four (short) glasses… I don’t remember the last time I drank like that, I’m a lightweight now lol.

So to sum up Friday: left early in the morning, slept in hotel for a few hours, went to lunch, then Benefit Boutique, back to hotel, slept/rested some more until dinner at Cha Cha Cha. The details after are a little fuzzy… I remember walking back to the hotel but for the life of me I can’t remember if we went somewhere else. Oh yes we did!! It was an open air bar! Lol! I remember some sort of night cap where I didn’t drink anymore but the location just popped into my head lol. I think it was called Jones. Yes Jones… Hahaha I love how it’s all coming back to me now.

Saturday, I originally wanted to go to brunch at Mission Beach Cafe again but we got up late and I just wanted tea. Yes tea. A little hungover and I wanted my Chai tea latte. Every one kept saying to try Peets so I ditched my usual (Starbucks) to try Peets Chai tea latte… This was my face after I first tried it:

It was sooo bitter! I didn’t like it at all! I’m sorry for those of you who believe in Peets and think I’m crazy but that shit did not taste good! As you can see I was no longer in the coffee shop so I just threw that away. We headed to Burger Bar in Union Square because it’s my husband’s favorite burger place in Vegas and he wanted to try it in there. They didn’t have his lamb burger but he said it was O.K.

After, we were walking off our food and I realised I had a lot of air in my right shoe… my moccasin was beginning to unravel. So we headed to the Westfield mall for me to get some shoes and checked it out. Another must have was to finally get some artwork from the market in front of the ferry building so we eventually got there and I got my two pieces. Pics of those will come later. I also like collecting mugs whenever I travel somewhere. It’s not exactly working out for my cupboard but I think it’s important to have pieces that would be practical as souvenirs. I got it from the airport as I didn’t see any mugs down there.

On our way back to the hotel we had to get around all of the crowds who were gathering for the Chinese New Year parade. Wish I knew before booking our hotel it was going on. We had a reservation for dinner, but we were so tired from walking for the whole afternoon, I cancelled them and we got room service. We came to the conclusion that we’re the worst tourists. We don’t feel bad. You can’t always burn yourself out and not enjoy what you would like to because you’re so tired.

We left Sunday morning and I slept for over four hours after we got back. Today is the birthday and I have a massage booked and I don’t plan on doing much. I actually want this to be a pretty laid back celebration. My husband has to plan anything he wants me to do as I am not planning shit. Lazy much? Don’t care. I feel like I need to just rest. I’ve had too much going on recently and a low-key celebration is still a celebration of which I won’t be even more tired after and that sounds pretty good to me!

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Christmas Vacay

January 7, 2013by SymoneF2 Comments

Happy New Year!

I don’t even know why I put vacay in the title. I went on a trip that left me feeling like I need a vacation. This won’t be a long post. I have too much going on mentally to give a detailed account on my experiences but I just want to share the gist of it.

I was “home for the holidays” and the trip started off with us missing our final flight to Barbados via Miami because our Dallas flight was delayed. As we got off the jet bridge we heard our names being called and started to sprint. Unbeknownst to us, sprinting or taking the Skytrain from gate D19 to D48 wouldn’t have made a difference. We learned that if you aren’t in your seat 15mins before the plane is set to take off they can legally give up your seat. Technically, if they don’t think you can make it in time from your connection, they would rebook you but with all of the oversold flights for Christmas, this was not an option. And standby is a bitch – watching a three planes take off and knowing you should be on one of them can do some shit to you especially when you have to wait up to 15mins before it takes off to know whether or not you’ll get on it. We left Dec 23rd and arrived after 2pm on Christmas day. To say I cried would be an understatement. I balled. The agents at the gate all had awful attitudes and just made a shitty situation worse. But it was those whom we encountered at the Rebooking Center and at the Admirals Club at D30 (special thanks to Tacia) that gave us hope in American Airlines and in humanity. Due to this experience, to say I’ve become more paranoid about flying won’t even begin to cover it and we have made some rules with regards to travelling home for Christmas.

Because of the day and a half set back to an already short trip, the trip felt rushed. There were some lovely moments, as is expected when visiting family and friends but it felt like there was toooo much to do in such a short space of time. We left on the 4th for Orlando for a wedding that my husband was the best man in. That part of the trip went smoothly. We had one delay returning to Seattle (in Dallas again) but at least it was our last flight and we were home.

You can check out my Instagram page for a few photos but I didn’t take a single photo with my camera. I forgot I had it sometimes and it seems I didn’t pack the charger either. Womp.

We have two more weddings to attend this year out of the country and my in-laws are planning to visit as well. Hubs and I still need a vacay just for us as we haven’t had one (where we didn’t know anyone where we went) since our honeymoon in 2010! Hopefully that will happen this year as well. I’ve posted on my other blog what I hope to achieve this year and there are other personal goals I’m keeping to myself because I don’t want to look back at them if they aren’t achieved.

I hope you had a wonderful holiday season and are ready to kick 2013’s ass and know that things can only get better :).