New Year, New Ramble

I know I said I’ll update you and here I am. FINALLY! About 6 weeks after my last post, I experienced an ectopic pregnancy that kept me in the hospital Labor Day weekend. I was released Sunday night, after having one of my tubes removed late Saturday night. Small surgery so it was ok! Then we had to wait for my natural cycle to start to be able to do IVF treatment again. This time around, I managed to produce more eggs than I did with my first round and that meant that I couldn’t do a fresh transfer which I was really upset about. It worked out for us because we did PGS testing to make sure that whatever embryos we had left we viable and we weren’t setting up ourselves for another guessing game like what we played in 2016.

So here we are. I’m 15 weeks pregnant **YAY!!!!!** With my baby girl! I swear last year was meant to break me but somehow I always found the strength to give it one more try or just hold on a little longer. My husband and my son played a huge roll in keeping me grounded because without them, for sure I would’ve had even less strength.

So my second pregnancy… So far, it’s way better than how the first went. Besides not being able to be sick whenever I felt sick, as I am still a stay at home mom, it was nice that my husband didn’t have to take as many days or mornings off to be with me. I was also able to take two trips, which I never could have done in my first trimester with my son. I’m glad it’s been easier than my first because I have a little person to tend to now.

While I’m preparing to have another little human in the house, there’s one topic plaguing my mind – breastfeeding. I’d made it up in my mind that this baby would be on formula as well, but I was hopeful that I would be able to since we had a little break between the cycle and transfer but I doubt that it’s going to happen. And I look at my son and see how healthy and chubby and amazing he is and I’m reassured (while that nagging feeling lingers) that it’s going to be ok. I always wanted to breastfeed, and I know how much of a challenge it can be, but after reading this article, I was reminded again that being a mother/parent is just about doing what you know is best for your child. The nurses at my hospital had me trying everything to get my milk to come in since I was interested, but he was also supplemented with formula. After a while, I didn’t like how the pumping and formula feeding mix was going and I realized my kid was happy with a full tummy (formula) and we were more relaxed and able to enjoy our baby. And I will do the same for this baby… I will make an attempt and if it doesn’t work out, that is ok. But I won’t give up without trying.

While #2 is baking, I’m preparing to celebrate #1’s second birthday! I can’t believe I’ll have a two year old! He’s still my baby, even though he’s been a daddy’s boy for the last couple of months. It’s been killing me that he doesn’t want me for certain things anymore but at the same time I had him to myself for a long time and I know he’ll be back soon lol. I just turned 30 in February and it’s hit me hard that during this year, I’ll become a mom of two and he’ll be starting pre-school and life is just changing at a pace that I’m not mentally ready for. But that’s life for ya! There’s never a right time, things just have to happen whether or not you’re ready. You’ll learn along the way and figure it out.

Until next time!


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