On my Instagram, I shared two photos (1, 2) showing my postpartum body and a few thoughts. Today, I’m sharing my thoughts on everything. Get your drinks and a snack. Yes, I posted this after eating a lot of crap this Labor Day Weekend. I don’t feel guilty for what I ate. I love food. Some of it at least…
One Week Postpartum
Everyone is so quick to tell you their labor story. I try to wait for people to ask or I correct them if they assume I experienced certain things. I frankly didn’t care to hear anyone’s story but people think it’s something they must share. And I did not find a polite way to tell people over 50 I didn’t care to hear their story. Listen to me carefully. STOP SHARING YOUR STORIES WITH FIRST TIME MOTHERS. You know what I would’ve appreciated? Someone telling me I MUST get postpartum underwear to hold my jelly belly together when I scoot my sore self around home and to appointments during that first week. Going into week three, I was feeling better or I got used to it, but ain’t nobody tell me how that shit was going to feel! The first time I got out of bed at the hospital after delivery I freaked out. “What is going on with my stomach!? Ain’t nobody tell me bout this shit!” Man I sure as hell bought those panties to keep everything from feeling like it was going out of place on the inside. I took long to get them but they did help when I did.
~~ For the record, I endured 24 hours of labor and as far as I’m concerned, I had the most amazing experience ever and I was quite impressed with myself and what my body was able to do. Labor isn’t a walk in the park for everyone, and everyone has different pain thresholds. So don’t assume because you had it oh so hard that I did too. I was probably able to tolerate just a bit more than you.~~
This is what I’m still dealing with. No matter what, I am sure every woman goes through a period where she is absolutely depressed with the state of her postpartum body. We tell ourselves we took 9 months to create this amazing little human and we should give ourselves no less than 9 months to attempt to get back to where we were before. But the truth is, some things will NEVER be the same. EVER. My big A/ small B-cup tatas barely nursed for 12 weeks and they feel so deflated. Yes deflated. Like someone let out all the air of my tiny balloons. I also no longer like bras with bones because I went over 9 months not wearing them. Wireless all the way but I make sure they make they keep the girls looking up to the sky and not at the floor. The least they could do is look good in clothes.
My husband could tell you how much I lather my body with creams. I have more creams/oils than the average person thanks to eczema and dry/sensitive skin. During my pregnancy, before I started showing, I was lathering my stomach with oils/creams. I did the cocoa butter stick as well. After 30 weeks, I was fortunate to earn my tiger stripes. I’ve been alternating between Pure Vitamin E oil 70,000 IUs, Honest Co. Belly Balm and Bio-oil on it since giving birth. They’re getting better but I don’t expect them to totally disappear, I’m just trying to reduce their appearance as much as possible. I’m learning to see them as badges. The only thing I can do otherwise is try to work on my stomach as much as possible that it’s not flabby and stripey.
That brings us to clothes.
When pregnant you focus so much on maternity clothes and baby stuff. After baby comes out, you don’t want to see another maternity outfit. Even if it was normal clothes you wore in a bigger size. It was your uniform while pregnant and you’re dying to get back into what you wore before only to realize, that shit ain’t happening today, tomorrow or 3 months later. Accept that if you aren’t focused on losing weight, you need to get a new wardrobe to hold you over on your journey to “coming down”. I started losing weight soon after but then came to a standstill. I had every intention of being a certain size by my trip home in July but that never happened either. I bought tons of spanx to wear with clothes just in case. (Yummie by Heather Thomson is my brand of choice.) My stomach got to a point where I was comfortable and didn’t need it but I’m still not anywhere near where I’d like to be. In other words, prepare a budget for new clothes here and there. You don’t need a full wardrobe but maybe when you come to a standstill like I did, a pair of jeans that aren’t baggy or too tight and fit just right would be worth every penny spent on them because you’re comfortable.
Honestly, everyone will tell you it takes time and don’t beat yourself up about it, but I’m on a mission. I intend to have #2 soon and I want to be down to a certain weight that I don’t have to lose twice as much after. Also, this extra weight was not helping me sleep at night. I sleep on my side and I’d wake up sore on whichever side I slept on the most. However, exercise was not on my mind. I was too tired and I was never in the mood for it. Diet? What diet… I ate whenever I could and whatever I could. The other thing no one tells you about – when you’re scarfing down food during your pregnancy because “now is the time to eat what you want”, your body gets used to it. That switch doesn’t turn off after baby comes. They tell you the same thing if you’re breastfeeding. But you have to train yourself to eat better.
I saw my dietician last Wednesday, because she gets me back on track. I was told recently that I could make decisions for myself with regards to what products I try, but I honestly do not trust myself and do better under the guidance of others, namely my dietician and trainer. Anytime I need a boost or guidance, I go to my dietician, she knows what my diet is like now and always makes the best suggestions to go with my very picky palette. If you don’t have one, try seeing one. My goal on that day was to have a breakfast alternative and suggestions for dinner as I’m now getting to a point where I can do dinner that doesn’t involve a lot of prep. I know you’re all anxious so I really did this post to share the info she passed on to me. And flood your brain with my thoughts.
During my first weeks as a new mom, my dietician suggested using egg white protein and Barlean’s Omega Flax oil with 1 cup of rice milk for a balanced breakfast shake to also help with the production of milk, while helping to shed the baby fat. I’m also lactose intolerant so this protein was chosen as it wouldn’t cause a problem for me. My dietician promotes 1:1:1 — 1 carb:1 protein:1 fat to help lose weight. When you do 2:1 (2 carbs: 1 protein) you are looking at maintenance, not weight loss. I can say for sure that this has worked for me. But please, seek your own dietician and help, I’m only sharing my story.
So, I realized during the early weeks that baby got constipated whenever I had egg. It was mainly hardboiled eggs but I came off of all eggs just in case. I’ve been left with the protein powder and I’ve had a craving for homemade muffins. I told her my dilemma and she was able to provide me with three websites. One is a banana protein muffin and the other two are websites that have recipes for anything you want to make with protein powder.
- Banana Bread Protein Muffins
- Bodybuilding.com – Protein Pancakes & Muffins
As for dinner, she recommended the cookbook Before Baby by Autumn Hoverter, another dietician. The book mainly deals with meals to cook and freeze before baby comes but it also works for after baby comes and they are crock pot meals. It also has alternatives for vegetarians. Any first time mother knows how important it is to have a many one pot recipes at their disposal and this one is good because it follows the same protein:carb:fat ratio and will help with coming down post baby. It’s only $5.99 on the Kindle. I got it and maybe you should too!
All of this is to say, it’s a journey, and the least you can do is attempt to make changes as hard as they may be. To try is better than not doing anything at all. I’m trying to increase my daily water intake by filling a water bottle and keeping it close. That way if baby falls asleep on me, I can’t use him as an excuse for not getting up and getting water. I’m drinking on average half to three quarters of a (24/32oz) bottle now, and I hope to make it to a full bottle soon. It hurts to think this is such a chore now when I was guzzling water up until delivery. But I know drinking water helps with weight loss too so I’m trying to give it my all.
At the end of the day, I’ve given up on trying to get back into certain clothes and I’m just trying my best to feel good about how I look and not what’s on the scale. Let me say that again – I’M TRYING MY BEST TO FEEL GOOD. I will forever remember what it was like to be 125lbs and be happy and even though it’s nowhere in sight, the least I could do is get my body to look how I want it to regardless of what the scale says. I like this prego booty that stuck around and losing weight may mean losing that. So I’ll just keep squatting.
Leave those comments below! I know I’m not the only one feeling this…
Thanks for reading.